The Power of Control: How to Focus on What You Can Change and Let Go of What You Can’t

Let’s talk about control—or more specifically, why trying to control everything is a one-way ticket to burnout. As a business owner, you’re already spinning a lot of plates. Now add the occasional windstorm of market changes, tech disruptions, and client surprises, and it’s no wonder you feel like you’re juggling while riding a unicycle on a tightrope.

The truth is, not everything is within your control. And that’s OK. In fact, learning to let go of the uncontrollable could be the best leadership move you make this year. So, grab a coffee (or a tea, no judgment) and let’s dig into this game-changing idea: the Circle of Control.

What is the Circle of Control?

Imagine three concentric circles.

1. The Inner Circle: The Circle of Control—things you can directly influence, like your decisions, actions, and how you respond to challenges.
2. The Middle Circle: The Circle of Influence—stuff you can affect to some degree, like team dynamics or customer perceptions, but you don’t have total control over.
3. The Outer Circle: The Circle of Concern—everything else. Think about market trends, competitor behaviour, and why the printer jams every time you’re in a rush.

This framework helps you visually sort the chaos into manageable chunks. It’s like Marie Kondo-ing your worries: keep what sparks control and let the rest go.

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Why We Obsess Over What We Can’t Control

Blame it on our brains. Humans are wired to overthink, especially about things that might go wrong. For business owners, this often means dwelling on what competitors are up to, or what customers might say on social media. While it’s tempting to try to pre-emptively fix everything, this mindset just drains your energy faster than a smartphone on 1% battery.

Here’s the kicker: obsessing over the uncontrollable doesn’t actually change anything. It just keeps you up at night—and no amount of coffee can fix that.

How to Focus on What You Can Change

So, how do you stop stressing about the unchangeable and channel that energy into things you can control? Here’s the playbook:

1. Map Your Circles

Take 10 minutes to jot down a list of what’s bugging you. Then, sort each item into the appropriate circle: control, influence, or concern. You might realise half your worries belong in the “nothing you can do about it” category.

2. Double Down on the Inner Circle

Spend your time and energy on the things you can directly affect. For example, you can’t control market trends, but you can tweak your pricing strategy or improve your customer service.

3. Influence What You Can (But Don’t Sweat It)

For items in the Circle of Influence, like team morale, do what you can to nudge things in the right direction. Just remember, you’re not a magician—you can’t force outcomes.

4. Release the Rest

This one’s tough, but freeing: let go of the outer circle. Accept that you can’t rewrite the economy or prevent every client's hiccup. When you stop trying to control the uncontrollable, you’ll find more bandwidth to focus on what really matters.

Why This Approach Works

When you shift your focus to what’s within your control, a few magical things happen:

• You stress less. No more wasting hours on “what if” scenarios.
• You’re more productive. With a clearer sense of priorities, you can actually get stuff done.
• Your team respects you more. No one likes a micromanaging boss who’s constantly freaking out about the competition.
• You sleep better. Enough said.

Practical Example: Control in Action

Let’s say your biggest client has hinted they might reduce their spending next quarter. That’s stressful, sure. But instead of worrying endlessly, break it down:

• Circle of Control: You can plan a meeting to discuss their needs, upsell other services, or improve your team’s delivery on current projects.
• Circle of Influence: You can work on strengthening the client relationship, but you can’t make them commit more budget.
• Circle of Concern: You can’t control their internal budget cuts or corporate priorities, so don’t waste time fixating on it.

By focusing on actionable steps, you stay in control of what matters and save yourself a headache.

Closing Thoughts: Let It Go (No, Really)

As a business owner, it’s natural to want to steer the ship. But remember, no captain controls the weather. What you can control is how you navigate the storm—and that’s where your power lies.

So, the next time you catch yourself stressing about something you can’t change, take a breath, grab a pen, and map out those circles. Your sanity (and your team) will thank you.

And who knows? You might even get some sleep tonight.