Power Of Communication

As human beings we have been given a blessing of being able to speak. It is this power that gives us the ability to tell other people around us how we feel, what we want, what we would not prefer, what we like what we dislike and so on.

Reasons someone might not choose to communicate

·     Holding on to a grudge too hard

·     Feeling unheard

·     Past experiences            

·     Fear of judgement

It often happens in relationships that one person says something that the other dislikes but he or she doesn’t communicate how it made them feel and instead they hold on to that feeling by keeping it inside and hence having grudges towards that person.

It is also possible you feel unheard certain times and if that is more often, you might decide not to speak much or completely avoid talking to other people.

If in the past you have experienced instances where in saying certain things led to you to problematic situation then it is quite possible that you think quite a lot of time before saying things out. It is also a possibility that you chose to remain quiet or talk less.

Everyone of us have been a victim of judgment by other people and at certain times we have also judged other people. However, people differ in levels of sensitivity and hence everyone takes this judgement of other people differently. There can be instances where a person fears judgment so much that he or she chooses not to voice their opinions at all.

What would happen if..

Imagine for e.g., if you were given a punishment that you wouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone but everyone around you can talk to you for whatever they want, or they can completely ignore you. Take a moment and think about how would it really make you feel. Helpless, ignored, unloved? Are these some of the feelings coming to your mind when you imagine this situation? You are thinking correct, these and many other are feelings that a person may experience when unable to communicate.

Consequences of an unhealthy communication:

Talking openly and expressing our thoughts, feelings and emotions to the right person can help us in ways far beyond our imagination. Keeping our feelings to ourselves creates a void. If these feelings are towards a particular person then that void is further fueled up every time we come across that person and it takes us towards experiencing toxicity in the relationship.

Another concern that we often face is when someone doesn’t straight away say what they actually want to and instead either say it in a taunting language, sugarcoat it for it to sound better or say something completely different. This is an unhealthy way of communication and it only increases the misunderstandings between individuals.

Unhealthy communication can be frustrating and it can create a breeding ground of distrust and confusion. It can also increase stress and in turn reduce your productivity. This burden can affect the other areas of life too and the stress would be carried forward to work, family life and even personal life.

Tips for better communication

· Try to listen more and talk less when the person is talking.

·Don’t let misunderstanding take place. For this ask what the other person meant instead of assuming it.

·Speak clearly and firmly about your opinions and stand by them.

· Every time you speak, do it with the intention of building a connection.

·Try to begin your talks with empathy and continue the same throughout the conversation.

·Don’t expect something that the other person has not committed for.

·Take due responsibility for your feelings.

·Avoid language or gestures that would be offending to the other person.

“It’s important to make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.” -Barack Obama

Article by our consultant Psychologist, Shaili Mehta at Plan My Health & Educure