The Power of Choice, Taking Risk & Comparison
Nick Hampshire
Health & Performance Coach | Communications Trainer | Speaker, Presenter & Endurance Athlete
Hello my friend,
Last week I gave a talk about turning pain into purpose.
I delivered a speech for Toastmasters - an International speaking and leadership group.
It offered me an opportunity to tell my story about loss and the lessons I’ve learned.
I shared my experience of the charity run from Liverpool to London that I recently completed and how loss inspired me to do it.
Fortunately it was very well received. I felt deep gratitude for the opportunity to share and with such a curious and open-minded audience.
At the end of the speech I felt a sense of peace after sharing so deeply.
Something I have often shied away from.
I spoke on the mindset and resilience I’ve been working to build over the years.
About the grief and how I dealt with it alongside the highs and the lows during the run.
How I found deeper meaning and my ‘why’.
The perspective I’ve gained.
Which has brought me to where I am today.
Whilst writing my speech I again fell upon the work of the psychologist, philosopher, and holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl.
His book ‘A Man’s Search for Meaning’ changed my perspective on meaning itself when I first read it several years ago.
“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Learning this was a turning point for me.
When I was stuck in my own trenches.
When I wanted to control so much.
When I held on so tightly.
My life hasn’t been the same since applying his message.
We cannot control many of the events that happen to us.
But we always have the freedom to choose our response.
Even in the hardest of circumstances and moments. In fact, especially so.
It’s in our most difficult challenges and setbacks that we learn the most.
It’s these that offer us the opportunity to grow and to build resilience.
It’s these that give us an opportunity to inspire or to serve others around us.
There are many things we cannot control.
We will lose things, we will lose people.
We will face hardships, we will have failures.
Yet we always have a choice in how we choose to respond to them.
Focusing solely on what we can control is liberating.
We gain our power back.
There are many things we can control.
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We can choose to treat ourselves kindly.
We can choose to move our body.
We can choose to prioritise our sleep.
We can choose to put time into our relationships.
We can choose to work on our personal development.
We can choose nutritious food and a balanced diet.
We can choose to let go of negativity and resentment.
We can choose to say no to behaviours that don’t serve us.
As this year draws to a conclusion it’s an apt time to set some intentions.
It’s the perfect time to focus on the things we can control and to let go of the things we cannot.
Things I’m Learning
Prospect theory.
People are drawn to sure things over probabilities, even when the probability is a better choice. This is called Certainty Effect. And people will take greater risks to avoid losses than to achieve gains. That’s called Loss Aversion.
That’s why people who statistically have no need for insurance buy it.
Or consider this: a person who’s told he has a 95% chance of receiving ￡10,000 or a 100% chance of getting ￡9,499 will usually avoid risk and take the 100% certain safe choice, while the same person who’s told he has a 95% chance of losing ￡10,000 or a 100% chance of losing ￡9,499 will make the opposite choice, risking the bigger 95% option to avoid the loss. The chance for loss incites more risk than the possibility of an equal gain. - Chris Voss
Relative comparison.
“A homeless man isn’t jealous of a billionaire, he is jealous of a slighter richer homeless man.” - Chris Williamson
The destination doesn’t exist.
“At the end of the day, there is nothing but the journey. Because destination is pure illusion.” - Rich Roll
Life Hack
I’m on day number 9 of my 9 day caffeine abstinence.
Day one I was hit with some withdrawal. Since day two and three my energy, focus and attention have all improved.
Definitely worth doing. Adenosine receptors now fully reset.
Looking forward to hitting the ceiling after my first coffee tomorrow.
Question
What is something you could gain more control over?
What is something you’re still gripping that you have little to no control over?
That’s all for this week.
Thank you as ever for reading.
With love. Nick x
PS: Another lap around the sun.
You can read - or listen - to the article in full by clicking here
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2 个月We face hardships along the way, but the way we turn those setbacks into opportunities tells a lot about how resilient we are! The way you've put this one is so deep Nick??????