The Power of Choice

By John R. Nocero and Jennifer N. Manship

JRN: One thing that I have never forgotten is the fact that I can choose. I can’t choose everything that I experience in life (parents, clothes for my 3rd grade picture, other people’s opinions) but I can choose my experiences, peer group, job, how I will spend my days and who I will spend them with, and maybe most importantly, how closely I pay attention to my thoughts and what I feel in any particular moment.

Pain has never been an intentional choice, but I realize that experiencing pain has led to my greatest growth. I was talking to my niece over the weekend about the power of choice and in all my examples, pain has been a centralized component. She pointed that out. I don’t think anyone intentionally chooses pain. I can’t think of one person who would intentionally choose depression, insecurity or sadness. No one would elect shame to ride shotgun. I think we just forget sometimes how powerful choices can be and we underestimate the power of intentions. Plus, it is also not the best to say out loud that you are grateful to adversity. But I believe you need to go through adversity to become resilience. Case in point – my sister turns 43 tomorrow. Her birthday is a big deal to her; she generally calls it a birthday season. But this year she can’t get together with 50 of her closest, so she is having a zoom party, with cake, a trivia contest and pizza making. I applaud her creativity. And I applaud her resilience.

We all have the power to choose what we absorb and what we release and the truth is, you are one decision away from a completely different life. That’s scary, because what you give up for your new life is your old one. But it’s never too late to make a different choice. Jen, do you believe in the power of choice? 

JNM: Absolutely John. When you think about it, life is just a series of choices you make along the way. I read somewhere that the average adult makes around 70 decisions a day. Some are subconscious, some trivial, and some major. With the daily grind, it can be easy to forget that we have a choice in most matters. Every day we can choose to stay where we are or strive for more. We can choose to take the high road when people treat us badly. We can choose happiness even when life gives us lemons. 

 You are right that it can be scary to think that one decision can change your whole life, but it can also be liberating. One chance meeting can lead to your dream job, one conversation can lead to a new friend! A quote that always reminds me of the power of choice is by Scott Fitzgerald “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be….I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again”. Those words give me comfort that it is never too late to make a change and YOU have the power to change your circumstances. 

 This year in particular has been hard for a lot of us because we have felt like we did not have a choice in what was happening to us. But so many have still chosen to stay positive, help their neighbors in need, and fight for what is right. Even though we do not have much control over what is happening in the world right now, we can always choose how we show up.