The Power of Building Relationships as a Leader

There was a time when your knowledge, IQ and skill sets were enough for you to succeed in your chosen field. But information is freely available these days and everybody has access to it. Anyone can learn anything, find out all sorts of information at their fingertips. If you want to distinguish yourself from others, you have to learn and arm yourself with far more skills than purely the degree you hold.

?The skill that I believe will be the most important & significant is the capacity to establish, develop & maintain long term relationships with your clients and with those who work with you and for you(stakeholders).?

We are in an era where we have capacity to connect with people, be present with people, both physically and emotionally and in more ways than one. Use this to your advantage.

In order to do build a lasting relationship, you need to understand what makes up a good relationship in the first place. We’ve all been part of bad & good relationships. The key is to have the ability to build a good relationship and perhaps, even more important, nurture and maintain it. Needless to say that I am talking about professional relationships, but the principles hold good for personal relationships too.

Here’s are some tips for building meaningful relationships

Initiate

Be the first one to talk to someone. Be the initiator of conversations. Do not let the fear of judgement stop you from taking the first step. Others are waiting for you to introduce yourself, send them an email; waiting to know more about you. Just go ahead & do it!

?Coming out of your comfort zone can be the best gift you can give yourself. It may be difficult (for some) the first time; but it’ll get slightly easier the second time & even easier the third time. The idea is to keep doing it till it comes to you naturally and becomes a habit.

Communicate

When you talk to anyone, you’re basically creating an impression of yourself in the other person’s head. Make sure what you mean to say is exactly how the other person interprets it. Misunderstandings lead to bad relationships.

?You might not have a lot of time on your hands to put across what you want to say in a detailed manner. So make sure you have a clear and concise way of communication planned in your head before you start a conversation.

?Create a perfect introduction

As leaders, you have a lot on your plate already but networking should definitely be one of these things. Imagine you’re in an elevator and you see someone there who you definitely want to build a relationship with. Now, you only have 30 seconds to introduce yourself to them before the door opens. For moments like these, you need to have a short, crisp & precise introduction ready. This is also sometimes called an elevator pitch. The goal is to make a connection and earn a second conversation.

Point out two main things in your intro: Who you help and what they achieve from your help. This will make them curious to know more about how you do these things. Hence, will lead to further conversations & building a relationship. (Please read the next point about value and trust and ensure that happens in this process.)

?Perfect this introduction of yourself by reiterating it in front of your close friends or family members. They’ll point out any mistakes you’re making in your pitch. The more you practice, the smoother and more natural your performance will be.

Add value & build trust

Do not try to sell yourself in your first conversation with someone. It’s not about how many people know you, it’s about how many people know of you. The latter happens only if you add value! It is the quality not the quantity that matters when it comes to building relationships.

If we can add value to people, if we can help other people, if we can go out of our way and create connections for people, then that creates a level of trust, a level of reciprocity, a level of invested currency in the relationship where the other person isn’t just somebody you know.

?You want to be sure that the person will answer if you call them. If you email a person, they will respond. ?If there’s a situation where you are in trouble, they will give some support. That is why you add value – to build a trustworthy relationship.

Mutual respect

When building a relationship, it has to be built on the foundation of mutual respect for each other. This is fundamental to any relationship. Showing respect means to value each other’s time, opinions and respect boundaries. This attribute will definitely help you build long-lasting, meaningful relationships with your colleagues, clients & employees.

Schedule time for building relationships

It is easy to fall into the habit of walking in through office door, going straight to your desk & begin pounding away. The key here is to take a few minutes to just walk around the office, say hello to people, and ask them how their day is going. These are simple things that show that you care and consider yourself part of the team. While there is no arguing that getting on with your work is of the utmost priority, engaging in conversations with people around you is equally important.

?Schedule about 10-15 minutes to network with people in the office when you get in. Then, another small networking break in the middle of your day & another one before heading back home. This will ensure people around you not only know you but also know about you. Sometimes, these could even lead to long-lasting friendships.

In the post-COVID era, we talk about scheduling time to network with people virtually. Give them a quick call or a video call & talk to them. This way you stay connected even without actually going into your office spaces.

Appreciate Others

Learn to appreciate others and the work that they do. It could be as simple as saying ‘thank you’ for the work they do. Everyone likes it when their hard work is acknowledged and is praised. As a leader, it is very important to appreciate the efforts of your teammates & make them feel valued. Ensure you do this on a regular basis so they are motivated to continue doing their best.

Be a Positive Person

This means having a positive outlook on what’s going on in and around the office. Having a positive energy in the workspace can help you strike up many conversations & eventually lead to building relationships.

?Positivity will attract a lot of people towards you. Put yourself in others’ shoes. You are more likely to strike a conversation with someone who emits positivity rather than someone who is the opposite. As a leader, you want to be approachable. Hence, be that person people like talking to by staying positive!

Be an Active Listener

It's really using your ears to hear what’s going on around you. Being able to listen well is a superpower. Being a leader, you listen to what others have to say first and then add value to it. As you listen, you will also gain perspective as to what it is like to be led by you.

?This also shows your respect towards others and will in turn make them respect you & your opinions. All you have to do is show you are listening by paying attention, providing feedback & responding appropriately.

Become a 360 Degree Leader

A 360-degree leader is someone who influences others in his team with or without actually being in a leadership position. It is the art of leading up, leading down, leading across & leading self.

Leading up is building relationships with your seniors, leading down is having the ability to motivate others, leading across is to network with people on the same level as you & leading self is to being self- motivated.

Being a 360 degree leader means to come out of your shell & get recognised by your seniors & peers in a way that you start having an influence on them. When you have an influence on others, it gives you the opportunity to build long lasting relationships.

This also brings in the reciprocator factor. The more you give in relationships the more you’ll get in return.

Conclusion

Your IQ & skills are essential but the core of leadership, I believe, is about developing your emotional intelligence, your capacity to connect with people, your capacity to be present with people-one to one, be it in small groups or larger audiences.

How do people know you care? By having a greater sense of self-awareness. By asking yourself- what’s it like to be on the receiving end of my leadership? What’s it like to be on my team? To be my employee? To be my client?

These 3 interlocking circles of IQ, EQ & self-awareness will enable you to build relationships that will allow you to succeed not just in the short term but in the long term. As skills become more fluid & as information becomes more & more available to everyone, I believe that the ability to create and sustain relationships is the competitive advantage which will differentiate you from others. You will know how to build relationships that are meaningful, genuine & are built for the long run. That is how people will know you.

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Johncey George (Coach Johncey) is an International Coaching Federation accredited leadership & life coach. He has the corporate leadership experience of 23 years and with an educational foundation from IIM, ISB & Harvard. He has helped a range of Executives, Senior Leaders & Entrepreneurs in accomplishing their business and career goals. He has also played a significant role in the lives of many introverts by helping them transform their personalities into their greatest strengths and in turn to success.