The power of being uncomfortable – a path to true inclusion

I have a few uncomfortable questions to ask:

If “woman of color” is an acceptable term in the US, can I use “coloured woman” in the UK? Does my manager know that part time working doesn’t translate to part time ambition or capability? Why don’t more people realise that LGBTQ+ people must continually and repeatedly “come out”? Do my peers assume that I’m being promoted as the token ‘non-white woman’? Do my teams know that I feel vulnerable and excluded too?

These may be uncomfortable questions but they are important ones. They address the subtle biases that are harder to be aware of if not experienced firsthand. Seeking out answers to them can create more inclusive workplaces by helping people recognise and change the often small behaviours that feed into large feelings of exclusion.

The unconscious bias training rolled out by many firms barely scratches the surface of the issue. It features stock-photos of strangers sharing generic, sanitised, and even made-up stories. It fails to take participants on an emotional journey.

Instead, we need to create open, curious and judgement-free occasions and spaces where real people can share their stories of feeling vulnerable, excluded, or when they made a mistake. Such situations allow others to listen, be aware, empathise, offer support, and be inspired to change their own behaviours. This is reverse mentoring, and over the years I have been participating in and leading such sessions I’ve found them to be some of the most powerful experiences of my professional career.

Reverse mentoring is one of the key pillars of Mission INCLUDE, the latest movement I have founded with Liz Dimmock from Moving Ahead. We are joined by some of the most senior people from the UK’s largest companies who are brave enough to take on difficult conversations to bring about change in their own lives and businesses. There will be a focus on the value of making mistakes, the courage to recognise them, ask for help, and learn. At the same time, they are going to have to accept that they may not get all the answers and immediate, perfect outcomes. Creating true inclusion is far too complex for that to be a realistic goal – for now, at least.

These senior leaders are paired with individuals from across different companies, industries, backgrounds and together they share their personal experiences. Senior leaders are asked not to solve problems but to be curious to see their environment from a different point of view and develop a heightened awareness of the diversity and inclusion dynamics. In a group setting, everyone in the room tells a story about feeling isolated or vulnerable – sharing the burden of speaking up – with open questioning and no criticism.

In these sessions, I’ve heard from a black man who often gets on the train to see women move their handbags to the other side of them; from a woman who presented her expert research and was then ignored while questions were directed to the men in the room; from people who have repeatedly been mistaken for another colleague of the same race; and from LGBTQ+ people who feel like their sexual orientation and gender expression are their only identifying characteristic. 

It’s memorable, personal, and human.

I’m excited to see how Mission INCLUDE will grow and evolve over the coming years, and I hope to continue to share the journey and invite more brave companies to get involved. Because it’s only by making ourselves uncomfortable that we can truly grow and shift the culture in our workplaces.

More about Mission INCLUDE

Mission INCLUDE’s purpose is to act as a catalyst that creates workplace cultures where diversity of talent and perspective is highly valued for the uncommon connections it creates. The programme helps organisations recognise and challenge limiting behaviours and constructs to unleash creativity and innovation. The coaching Mission INCLUDE provides enables individuals to lead with greater empathy and authenticity, and empowers teams to contribute as their real selves.

Watch the video HERE.