The power of not being chosen

Will it matter six months from now?

A question I now ask often when I find myself overthinking, overanalyzing or questioning my value because of the actions of another. Will whatever "it" is matter from six months from now? 99% of the time it won't. So, let it go Jasmin lol.

Something I wish I had know when I was younger: When you choose to move, lead and/or think boldly, it's inevitable that you will ruffle feathers, that you might not be "liked" or "chosen".

Another thing I wish I knew: This isn't always a bad thing. There's value in the mess sometimes. Disruption (in our life or with our career/business) leads to evolution. And evolution often inspires new pathways of thinking which always leads to new solutions or ideas. And this is a good thing.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point in my life where I both accept and understand that the concept of being liked, chosen, promoted or even being told "yes" rather than "no" is not always a leading or accurate indicator in an individual's future success.

I'm not for everyone and I'm cool with that...finally.

And I hope you are too.

Throughout history, we know many iconic thought leaders, inventors and businessmen and women that have found immense success despite not being chosen or in many instances (like one of my biz heros Sara Blakely), rejected and/or flat out told "no, we don't want you."

And that's ok.

There is power in not being chosen.

But you must have courage and an unwavering faith and confidence in who you are and what it is you bring to the table in order to be equipped to overcome the doubts, insecurities and fears that will come when you lean into who you really are.

We are often taught to dim who we are; to be afraid of using our voices, leading with our intelligence, our experiences and ultimately not bringing our whole selves to our jobs, our businesses.

And what is the result of this?

We get less than what we deserve.

We put our future destinies in the hands of others. We’re made to feel that we should be thankful to just receive anything even if it’s subpar.

We’re not being paid what we are worth. We’re working in environments that have now become toxic to our minds, hearts and our soul…and that number on the scale.

We’re working for leaders who should actually be working for us.

The definition of insanity is to continue doing the same thing, hoping and expecting a different response.

Please believe in your thoughts and ideas. They matter. Trust your gut. If it feels like bullsh$t it usually always is.

No is a complete sentence. Period.

You are allowed to pivot | adjust | evolve | change things up at anytime if it doesn’t feel in alignment with your values, ethics and the goals you have for yourself.

Regardless of what your title is LEAD. Speak up. Be brave, be bold. Be you.

I know it’s scary but start small. Say something. Ask questions. Add value. You can do all of these things in a kind way.

Will you be liked by all? Will you get selected/promoted by merit? No, you might not. And that’s ok as it does not define who you are.

There is power in not being chosen.

Because I choose me. Because you choose yourself.