The Power of Becoming: Actualizing Our Way to Fulfillment

As Oprah Winfrey aptly noted, everyone aspires to realize their highest and truest potential. Within each of us lies a reservoir of unique skills, talents, passions, expertise, and experiences, waiting to be unleashed upon the world. Nietzsche's assertion that everything exists in a state of "ontological privation," yearning to become more than it is, reflects this universal longing for growth and progress toward a more expanded existence.?

When you speak with genuinely happy and successful people, you learn that their joy and fulfillment don’t stem from titles, possessions, vanity metrics, or winning the comparison game. Instead, their contentment comes from personal transformation and the who they become as they actualize their potential. The satisfaction comes in the experiences they undergo, the challenges they overcome, the skills they acquire, and the resilience they build as they become the best versions of themselves.

Vishen Lakhiani , the founder of Mind Valley, echoes this in his concept of ROSE (Rate of Self-Evolution), emphasizing that the most vital aspect of our existence is not our work, children, money, or any other external factor. Instead, it is the pursuit of our own development that should take precedence. When personal growth is prioritized, every aspect of life—be it career, health, relationships, or finances—becomes a conduit for our evolution. By viewing life as a continuous learning experience and making growth your primary focus, every moment, particularly the difficult ones is transformed into opportunities for development.

In his book, Arete, Brian Johnson delves into the Aristotelian concept of Arete, which epitomizes "excellence" in its most refined sense—achieving one's fullest potential. To live with Arete is to bridge the divide between who you are and who you are capable of becoming. Embracing Arete involves committing to a journey of relentless self-improvement and striving for excellence, ensuring that every aspect of our lives contributes to our overall growth. Key principles of this pursuit include adopting a mindset of lifelong learning, welcoming challenges as opportunities for growth, engaging in regular self-reflection, and actively seeking constructive feedback.

Here Are a Few Tools Foundational to Becoming Our Best Selves:

Adopt a Growth Mindset

To unlock your potential and become your best self, you must believe it’s possible. This is where Carol Dweck's concept of a growth mindset comes in, as the belief we can develop abilities and intelligence through dedication and effort. Unlike a fixed mindset, which views talents as static, a growth mindset enhances resilience, fosters a love for learning, and turns every day into an opportunity for growth.?

Treat Your Life as an Experiment

Adopting a mindset of perpetual curiosity, trying things out, and continuously asking yourself, "What can I learn, and how can I grow from this?", enables you to gather data and observe patterns within yourself and your environment, and conduct ongoing experiments with your life, iterating and refining your approach based on the lessons learned. This approach allows you to extract valuable insights, and foster continuous self-improvement, and personal evolution, particularly in difficult situations.

Turn Up Your Thermostat

One of the lesser talked about, yet most important things that trip people up when trying to expand or uplevel in any way is their identity. Entrepreneur and motivational speaker, Ed Mylett underscores the necessity of continually elevating your identity as you grow, a vital step in fully actualizing your potential. If your identity is anchored in the past or limited to your current state, you cannot evolve into your aspirational self. This is echoed in the book "Psycho-Cybernetics," written by Maxwell Maltz, which explores the profound impact of self-perception and identity on personal achievement. Maltz, a plastic surgeon, observed that even when he created physical changes in his patients’ bodies, they still saw themselves as looking the way they had before the surgery. This led him to investigate the psychological components of identity. His book posits that our self-image—the mental picture we hold of ourselves—serves as a blueprint for our behavior and level of success. By understanding and consciously reshaping this self-image, people can break free from limiting beliefs and unlock their potential.?

Normalize Your Future

To make your dreams feel attainable, it's essential to normalize your future. Surround yourself with people who operate at a higher level or have higher standards in the areas you wish to grow. These role models, mentors, and sources of inspiration will elevate your expectations and help you internalize the behaviors and mindset necessary for success. Simultaneously, immerse yourself regularly in elements related to your goals. Incorporate aspects of your desired future into your daily life—whether it’s visiting a luxury spa quarterly, test-driving your dream car, or staying in a beautiful vacation rental. This exposure helps dismantle psychological barriers, making your aspirations seem more relatable and achievable. By normalizing these experiences, you cultivate a sense of comfort and inevitability about reaching your goals, turning ambitious dreams into achievable realities, and boosting both your confidence and momentum.

Be. Do. Have.

Many people postpone pursuing their goals until some external circumstance takes place (when they make more money, when they lose weight, when they land a certain job, etc.). However, real up-leveling requires us to first become the person we aspire to be right now by adopting the thoughts, actions, and identity of the person capable of that goal or accomplishment. When we start thinking, feeling, speaking, and behaving like the person we want to be, it helps bridge the gap between our current state and our future state goals. Scientific research supports this, suggesting that when we “act as if," we align ourselves energetically with our desired outcome, initiating a powerful shift in our behavior. We start showing up differently in the world, making different decisions, and presenting ourselves in a different way, which actually attracts the things that we want. This transformative process helps us feel into the reality of our aspirations, leading to their manifestation.

True fulfillment stems not from external validations, but from the personal growth we experience as we actualize our potential and become our best selves. What strategies or insights have you found valuable in your own journey of self-evolution and expansion?