The Power of Awakening to Your Life

I had a wild romp of existential proportions a few weeks ago.?

I was rushed to the hospital with complications from a surgery, very fitting for being so close to the eve of closing out the Dying Project.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but a couple of blood transfusions and one emergency surgery later, I’m still here.

There were multiple points through that experience where I had the realization that this could actually be the end of the line for me if just one thing went sideways. And while it was traumatic, there was an unshakable peace that I managed to find. Practicing presence when I wanted to dissociate and not feel the pain was challenging. But I knew if I was to die, I wanted to do it with awareness like a good Buddhist(ish) would. Each time I would drift, I would bring my intention back to my breath, control my heart rate and drop into the sensations of my body.

It’s comical because while I managed to do that well, I also showed just how attached I am to the roles I play in this life. Just before heading into surgery, I briefed my partner on all of the meetings that would need to be moved and the clients that would need to be contacted, just in case my absence or death might be an inconvenience.?

It’s hilarious, really. Sometimes I want to shake myself and say, “F*ck it, Katie! Just drop the ball.” Yet, I’m over here doing acrobats in order to keep the ball in play.

Wrapping the Dying Project

Just a few short days after this transpired, we wrapped the Dying Project. Lila Smith shared her eulogy that a friend had written and our conversation was profound, even without me having experienced what I had just gone through.

Lila shared that she reached a point where she just wanted to ‘Be’ in her life. A point that I reached in my first ‘dying assignment’ where I realized I just wanted to live like I wasn’t dying. I just wanted to be back in my day-to-day life, but with a completely new lens through which to see it.

My life has changed so much since my first “dying project”, but that only happened because I was finally able to be grateful for my life exactly as it was. Becoming grateful and truly living opened my life up to shift in so many needed and necessary ways. That didn’t happen by forcing my hand in everything and controlling the outcomes, it happened by shifting my perspective and letting go.

Alan Watts has this beautiful thought experiment that summarizes this experience:

“Let's suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream that you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would, naturally as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say "Well, that was pretty great." But now let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control. Where something is gonna happen to me that I don't know what it's going to be. And you would dig that and come out of that and say "Wow, that was a close shave, wasn't it?" And then you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream. And finally, you would dream ... where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today.”

That’s the magic.

Most often, you don’t have to actually change anything in order for things to change, you just need to shift your perspective. The caveat here being this is only the case if your basic needs are met. I wouldn’t tell a starving person they needed to shift their perspective, I would give them freakin’ food.

And while I just gave you the secret sauce, I’m sure I will continue to work with folks because there are a few camps people fall into when doing personal growth and self-healing work:

• You get overwhelmed by everything that you could do, so you instead do nothing
• You try to control the outcome based on how you think it should be, assuming you ‘know’ it all and short-change your experience
• You approach with curiosity and a beginner’s mindset to see what unfolds

Two of these will lead you to perpetual frustration and one will lead you to the magic.?

Remember: YOU ARE THE GUIDE!

P.S. I hope you are all well, there’s A LOT of wild stuff going on in the world. Take care of yourself, be well and help others. Let me know if I can do anything to help you.?

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If we haven’t met, I’m Katie. I’m a writer/ghostwriter for socially conscious leaders and companies. I also serve as a guide to mindful leaders and individuals through the Dying Project, a self-exploration, awakening experience to help clear away mental mess, tune into their own inner guide and get free...

The Dying Project is for you if:

• You’re ready to stop giving your time and energy to a draining situation, relationship or job
• You’re ready to start prioritizing the people, places and things that mean the most to you
• You’re ready to learn paradigm-shifting integration tools and embodiment practices
• You’re ready to clear away your mental mess and tap into your own inner guide
• You’re ready to move beyond your regrets and make peace with your mortality

The next group is starting soon, so if you would love to be a part of it - join the waitlist HERE!