The Power of Authentic Influence: Insights from Kevin Knell

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Kevin Knebl CMEC, HCC ?? , author of The Social Media Sales Revolution , who shared profound insights on influence, success, and the art of meaningful business relationships. ??

Building Connections in a Busy World

During our conversation, I kicked things off by asking how we connected on LinkedIn. Kevin chuckled, admitting, “I don’t even remember. I think I received a kind LinkedIn invitation from you.” It was a reminder of how impactful genuine outreach can be in today’s busy digital landscape.

In our fast-paced world, where distractions abound, connecting meaningfully can set you apart. This notion of connection echoed throughout our discussion, notably as we delved into the role of influence in sales and leadership.

The Influence Dilemma

As we dove into the heart of our discussion, I praised Kevin for his remarkable journey in sales and global travel. His response was enlightening. He posed a provocative question: “You want the 15-hour answer or the 32-second answer?”

This set the tone for a deeper exploration of influence. Kevin observed that when a person pursues influence, it often stems from an ego-driven need for validation. “An ego in control is beautiful, but an ego out of control seeks accolades,” he explained. It’s a common trap that many fall into, thinking that being influential is the ultimate goal. However, he emphasized that true influence arises from self-acceptance. “The sun isn’t worried about its influence. It’s just stunning,” he remarked, beautifully illustrating how authenticity shines through without needing external validation.

This perspective leads us to question our motivations in professional interactions. Are we seeking to connect genuinely or trying to build a facade of influence? This question is crucial in a world that often prioritizes image over substance.

Navigating Success and Authenticity

Our conversation took a profound turn as Kevin shared his experiences with the trappings of success. “There was a period in my life when I was the typical Type A, taking the hill and accumulating signs of success. I got the houses, the cars, and the Rolexes, but at some point, I realized that no external acquisition creates internal peace of mind.”

He emphasized that every human being ultimately desires happiness and peace. “Sometimes billionaires commit suicide. If money were the key to happiness, everyone with money would be happy,” he pointed out. This stark reminder challenges us to reflect on our pursuits.

Kevin believes that stress and suffering are optional. “The only reason a human being suffers is because they have a limited understanding of how the mind and thought work.” He encourages us to recognize our thoughts and how they shape our experiences. “When we understand how the mind works, we can navigate life more resiliently,” he said.

This aligns with the themes I discuss in my book, Real Life Inspiration for Leaders, where I explore the concept of "the lies of inspiration." One of the major lies is the influence lie, where individuals mistakenly believe that gaining influence will lead to happiness and fulfillment. Instead, we must focus on genuine connections and meaningful conversations that enrich our lives and the lives of others.

Real-Life Application: Engage with Purpose

To navigate the complexities of influence and success, here are some actionable steps you can take:

1.???? Reflect on Your Intentions:

Ask yourself: Am I pursuing influence for ego validation, or am I genuinely seeking to add value to others? This self-reflection can help clarify your motivations.

2.???? Practice Presence:

Focus on being fully present during conversations. Listen actively and engage sincerely with those around you. Presence fosters connection and understanding.

3.???? Value Relationships Over Metrics:

Shift your focus from metrics and accolades to the quality of relationships you build. Remember, every interaction conveys a feeling. People remember how you made them feel long after they forget your words.

4.???? Embrace Authenticity:

Be true to yourself. Share your journey, your struggles, and your successes. People connect with authenticity, not perfection.

5.???? Start Meaningful Conversations:

Use the SALT method (Start a conversation, Ask questions, Listen, Tell the truth) to build rapport and trust with others. Genuine inquiry opens doors to deeper connections.

Exploring the Role of Questions

We also discussed the importance of questions in building relationships during our discussion. “Why do we ask questions?” Kevin posed. “Because we want to get answers, but we’re often taught to ask questions as manipulation techniques.” This insight prompted a deeper conversation about the authenticity of our interactions.

When asking questions, we should aim for genuine curiosity rather than manipulation. As Kevin pointed out, “Any question I ask you that doesn’t come from a place of wanting a sincere answer is, by definition, manipulation.” This philosophy invites us to reconsider how we engage with others. Are we asking to understand truly, or are we simply trying to steer the conversation in our favor?

The Child Within Us

One of Kevin's most striking metaphors was the image of children believing in monsters. He explained that when adults seek external validation or pursue influence, they resemble children who believe monsters are in the closet. “Adults are just kids with long, hairy legs,” he quipped, emphasizing that many are still grappling with fears and insecurities from childhood.

This analogy encourages us to approach our interactions with compassion and understanding. We can foster deeper connections when we recognize that everyone is navigating their struggles. It’s about moving past the superficiality of influence and embracing the essence of our shared humanity.

Real-Life Application

• How do you define influence in your own life?
• What strategies do you use to build genuine connections in your business?
• Are you comfortable being your authentic self in professional settings?
• How do you ensure your questions come from a place of genuine curiosity?

Conclusion

Kevin noted, “Success is built one conversation at a time.” Let’s remember that the essence of success lies not in the accolades we accumulate but in the meaningful relationships we foster along the way. ??

In our fast-paced, image-driven world, let’s strive to be the sun—shining brightly without concern for our influence. By embracing authenticity and focusing on genuine connections, we can create a more fulfilling and impactful life for ourselves and those around us.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Thank You

Also, a massive shoutout to all of you who have been supporting this community—it’s grown to over 12,000 followers on LinkedIn, filled with incredible leaders and managers, and I’m excited to keep the inspiration flowing! Subscribe to Real-Life with Joey to hear the full interview with Kevin.

Is anyone else getting turned off by thought leaders' self-promotion these days? Do you ever shy away from taking authority because you want to lead with real impact instead of ego? Let me know in the comments!

Learn More About Me: www.joeystutson.com

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