The Power in Asking for Help

Let’s be real: leadership is hard. It’s fulfilling, yes. But it also comes with expectations—some placed on us by others and some that we’ve internalized over time. One of the most persistent lies leaders are told is that we have to do it all ourselves, that asking for help is somehow a failure or a sign of incompetence.

But what if we turned that idea on its head?

What if asking for help is actually one of the most empowered and empowering things you can do? What if it’s a way of showing trust, building collaboration, and fostering growth—not just for yourself, but for the people around you? This week, we’re unpacking the strength it takes to ask for help and why embracing vulnerability is a cornerstone of true leadership.

The Cost of “Doing It All”

For many leaders—especially those who come from strategically undervalued or underrepresented communities—the need to do it all stems from a place of survival. We’re often taught that we have to work twice as hard, carry twice as much, and make fewer mistakes just to prove that we belong. That pressure can feel crushing.

This “do it all” mindset might have served you in the past, but at what cost? The emotional, mental, and physical toll of trying to carry everything alone is unsustainable. It leads to burnout, frustration, and even resentment—not just toward the work but sometimes toward the people you’re working to uplift.

Letting go of the “do it all” mentality isn’t about lowering your standards or taking shortcuts. It’s about recognizing that leadership is not a solo endeavor. It’s about sharing the weight and allowing others to rise alongside you.

Why Asking for Help Is Empowerment

There’s power in vulnerability. When you ask for help, you’re doing more than lightening your load—you’re showing others that it’s okay to be human. You’re creating a culture where collaboration, trust, and mutual support are valued above perfection.

Here’s why asking for help strengthens your leadership:

• It Builds Connection: Vulnerability fosters trust. When you open up and say, “I need support,” you invite others into your journey. That trust becomes the foundation for deeper, more meaningful relationships.
• It Models Healthy Leadership: When you ask for help, you give your team permission to do the same. You set the tone for a culture where people feel safe to admit when they’re struggling.
• It Unlocks New Perspectives: The best ideas often come from collective thinking. By inviting others to contribute, you gain insights you might not have considered on your own.

Empowered leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about creating the conditions for others to shine.

How to Delegate Effectively and Build a Culture of Support

Delegation isn’t just about offloading tasks. It’s about building trust, fostering growth, and empowering the people around you. Here’s how to do it effectively:

1. Let Go of Perfection: Delegation requires trust, and trust means letting go of the need for everything to be done exactly your way. Focus on the outcome, not micromanaging the process.
2. Start Small: If you struggle to delegate, start with smaller tasks or projects. Build your comfort level over time and notice how capable your team is when given the opportunity.
3. Communicate Clearly: Be specific about what you need, why it matters, and how their support contributes to the bigger picture. Clarity reduces confusion and empowers others to take ownership.
4. Recognize Contributions: When someone steps up, acknowledge their effort. Celebrate the ways their work strengthens the whole. Recognition builds trust and encourages future collaboration.
5. Create Psychological Safety: Make it clear that mistakes are part of the process. When people feel safe to try, fail, and learn, they contribute more authentically and confidently.

Reflection Questions: Breaking Through the Barriers

Let’s pause for a moment of personal reflection. Write down your answers to these questions or discuss them with a trusted mentor or peer:

• What situations make it hardest for you to ask for help? Why?
• What would change if you saw asking for help as a strength rather than a weakness?
• Who in your circle do you trust to support you? How can you strengthen those connections?
• How might your leadership transform if you embraced a culture of collaboration?

These reflections can help you uncover the beliefs and fears that hold you back—and open the door to a new way of leading.

Leadership as Collective Empowerment

Great leaders don’t lead alone. They build communities of care and collaboration, creating spaces where everyone feels valued and supported. By asking for help and encouraging others to do the same, you’re not just lightening your own load—you’re empowering those around you to rise to their potential.

Leadership isn’t about being everything to everyone. It’s about building a team, a culture, and a legacy that thrives on collective strength. This week, I challenge you to take one step: ask for help in one area of your life or work. Start small, but start. Notice how it feels to lean on someone else and allow them to step into their own power.

What We’re Reading This Month

Here are a few books we’re reading (and re-reading!) this month that explore leadership, collaboration, and resilience:

1. We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
2. Lead from the Outside: How to Build Your Future and Make Real Change by Stacey Abrams
3. All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
4. The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh
5. Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey

Final Thoughts

Empowered leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection, collaboration, and knowing when to ask for help. It’s about showing the people around you that they matter, that their contributions are valued, and that together, you can achieve more than any one person ever could.

This week, give yourself permission to ask for help. And remember, leadership doesn’t mean going it alone—it means building something extraordinary with others.

Thank you for being part of this journey. Let’s rise together.

Warmly,

Dr. Kim Davis

Founder & President, Five/6teen Consulting

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