The Power of Asking

I’m going to tell you a story about goals, hard work and persistence, and the power of asking. It’s a story about a high school senior with big dreams. She excels academically and dreams of attending an elite college. But she is also a competitor and wants to win a spot on her college’s diving team.

She puts in the work. Endless Advanced Placement and honors classes, many in subjects that frankly are a struggle for her. Multiple years of foreign language, which all the elite schools require. And outside of class, she’s starting her own photography business, putting in volunteer hours, and building a journalism resume that includes a summer program with the Yale Daily News. There’s Khan Academy SAT practice, bringing up her SATs hundreds of points—final total 1530. And, of course, diving practice five days a week with travel for high school and club meets on weekends.

And after all of that, she is still far from having a “lock” on her dreams. One of her top two schools tells her she’s likely to be accepted academically, but she’s “on the bubble” for the diving team. There are several young women with the academic chops to possibly get in, but who have more diving experience and are more polished. “Wait and see what shakes out, but we’re very interested in you!” is the message she gets from the diving coach.

Her other top choice has been silent for months. She visited the campus at the end of May and even met with the diving coach, who was very optimistic. She sent updates to the coach with her diving progress, but never received any response. For the entire summer and into September, no word.

She does not give up. In October, she sends a message to the head of the Swimming and Diving program. Perhaps there’s been a coaching change or the coach’s contact information has changed. She knows this isn’t true because she’s been paying attention to the diving programs at her top schools. But maybe her email will force the coach to respond.

And it does. The day after sending her email to the head of the Swimming and Diving program, the diving coach gets in touch. Again, she is being considered for a spot on the team, but there are more experienced divers ahead of her. And there is only one spot open for a freshman woman diver for the next year.

She is undaunted. She explains to the coach that the school is her top choice. She’s interested in applying “Early Decision” (a binding commitment to attend the school if she is accepted), but only if there’s a spot for her on the diving team. The Early Decision deadline is November 1—will the coach have chosen the candidate for the one open spot by that deadline?

The coach wants to have a call! They talk. This is everything she wants in a school and a diving program. And the coach says maybe they could open two spots for women divers in the fall, and if so one of those spots could be hers.

And then everything happens very quickly. The head of the Swimming and Diving program signs off on the second opening on the diving team. Then academic credentials must be submitted for a “pre-read” by the Admissions Office, to see if she’s likely to be accepted. And on Friday, October 29th—three days before the November 1 Early Decision application deadline—our heroine receives her “likely letter”. She’s done it! She’s all but guaranteed a spot on the diving team for her top choice academic school.

How does this happen? Setting goals and not being afraid to set them higher when opportunity presents itself. Researching exactly what is needed to achieve those goals. Putting in the ridiculously hard work. Persevering even though her top schools tell her she might not be quite good enough to make the team, or simply don’t respond to her at all. And not being afraid to ask for what she wants. And because she asks, because of her determination, the athletic program of an elite academic school makes room for her.

And so our daughter will likely be attending her dream school the fall of 2022 as one of their two new women divers. Words cannot express how proud we are of her.