The Power of Arguments

NOTE: I had a very different topic scheduled to run this week but changed it due to the weekend's events. This week, I aim to help "lower the temperature" in the room by reminding us of the truth of arguments.

As children, my father would frequently select a subject, and we would debate its merits. He taught us that the goal of arguing is to help each other arrive at the truth.

The rules of the debate were that you had to use logic and build your argument in a structured way:

• Introduction
• State your case
• State your proposition
• Respond to inquiry
• Refute counter arguments
• Substantiation and Proof
• Conclusion

There were two other important rules: You could not use emotion to win the argument, which was seen as persuasion at best or manipulation at worst. You had to argue the issue, not the person.

The last rule was the most important: You had to be open to changing your mind on the topic. If someone presented evidence contrary to your position, admitting your error and changing your mind was the right thing to do.

Over the years, we have learned to have heated conversations about sensitive topics without losing our tempers. I have come to love a good, hearty debate and will start one occasionally to sharpen my skills.

From this debating style, you quickly learned that some people resort to "low blows" tactics like name-calling, insults, or personal attacks when losing an argument. That is primarily because they would rather defend their honor and remain cognizant of their incorrect thinking than change or admit that they were wrong, which is an unfortunate way to go through life.

You also learn to avoid absolute words like always, never, everyone, and no one. You avoid those words because if someone can invalidate your argument with one exception, your entire logical framework falls apart. This argumentative fallacy played out numerous times when we said, "Everyone is going to the party," and our parents replied, "All seven billion people on the earth are going? There, not EVERYONE is going." :)

We lost our way of arguing to the point of reaching the truth recently. We swapped out logic for emotion, problem-solving for platform positions, and screaming over listening. We resort to name-calling, personal attacks, and now physical violence, which doesn't help anyone arrive at the truth, including ourselves. One of the best parts of the social experiment called America is the freedom of speech and the ability to bring forth new ideas to be tested in the crucible of debate. We lose that when we choose to silence anyone who would object to our position.

Let's all remember why we have public discourse. It is to help everyone arrive at the truth, not our political agenda or position. Shouldn't everyone's agenda be to live in the truth as much as possible?

It starts in our homes, workplaces, houses of worship, schools, and playgrounds. It begins with us being leaders in the everyday, with our families and groups in which we participate. Let's all look in the mirror and be conscious of the messages we send to the world daily.

Please comment on what you have done to help facilitate healthy dialogues.