The Power of Acceptance

My friend's son recently took a competitive exam for engineering college admission, so I asked him about the results. "He did okay, but he might not get the branch of his choice in major IITs," he said in a low voice. I said, "Look, his rank is still quite good, there are so many other good universities around, and there is such a huge need for good engineers in the industry, eventually it won't matter." "I get that, but...," he remarked.

I met his son after this conversation and shared my perspective with him as well. As I was having this chat, I found myself flashing back to the day I took an entrance exam. I secured a respectable 41st position in the Rajasthan engineering entrance exam in 1991. I had intended to pursue a degree in electronics and communication engineering, which was once thought to be one of the best engineering disciplines. I ultimately ended up getting mechanical engineering after missing that by one seat at state’s top Institute in Jaipur.

My heart wasn't in studying mechanical engineering when I was admitted to it. It was challenging for me to accept. Years of internal conflict made me feel bad about myself and disrupted my peace. Despite always being a scholar, I slipped to being an ordinary student, all because I couldn't accept it.

I'd want to share about one more instance that occurred a few years ago. My son was playing with his buddies on the street while I was out of town. Due to the disturbance, my neighbor lost his cool on the kids. A scene was quickly created on the street. When I got home in the evening, I noticed that there was no peace at home. I gave a call to the neighbor right away and went to see him after realizing what had transpired. He shouted because he assumed I had come to fight. In fact, he just continued threatening for forty minutes. As he gradually calmed down, I asked him a few questions and discovered that his sister-in-law's exams?were approaching and that he actually had no issue with children playing in the street as long as it didn't bother them. I committed to taking care of it while?her exams were through, and ever since then, our communication has been very positive.

In the first instance, I was unable to accept the situation and that caused years of suffering as a result. The second occurrence might have also created loss of peace for some time if I would have reacted by my immediate instincts and not accepted it. But in this case, I accepted the people and the world as it was. Not only did I instantly become free, but it also created new possibilities for the future.

Now let me share a straightforward example from daily life. People frequently discuss traffic problems, especially in cities like Bangalore, India. Without a doubt, Bangalore's traffic is jam-packed all day. However, when we gripe about traffic too much and too?often, we lose the touch with the truth that we're also a source of traffic for other people. That occurs because, despite the fact that we are a part of it, we entirely remove ourselves from it.

As soon as we acknowledge and accept that we are going in the same direction and have no control over it, we cease complaining and proving other people wrong in the process. By accepting the people and situations around us, we can achieve not just inner peace but also the ability to develop and build new perspectives. Since I understood power of acceptance, I enjoy every minute of being stuck in traffic pile-up by listening to audiobooks or music rather than complaining.

The moment we accept something, we gain a lot of power that?opens up space for unique creation.

Acceptance does not imply that we need to settle with compromises. I place a great deal of emphasis on accepting outcomes as they are and if they are not consistent with our expectations, exploring what we can do to alter them in a direction that we want. That should be the first choice. I was able to have a conversation with my neighbor about the future because I accepted him the way he was. If I had stayed at home and done nothing, that would have been a compromise. Real acceptance entails accepting things as they are while striving to enhance them. Humility in simply accepting a circumstance when we may not be able to change it or choose not to act can often make a big difference in our lives. Weather and traffic are two situations that I simply accept. No matter how much I moan or whine about the weather, I won't be able to change?anything.

Similar to how experiencing acceptance can ease difficult times such as dealing with a terminal illness, acceptance can help people deal with a variety of life events and challenging circumstances. For me, acceptance could have made a huge difference during my college admission.

Many of us may find acceptance to be difficult because we are afraid of what will happen when we let go. For example, someone might worry that their work will fall apart if they let go and then things will get worse. As a result, people often resist change and dig their heels in. We just need to accept that change is the only constant in the world and work towards changing scenarios.

Another aspect of acceptance is that it requires us to take accountability for future action as soon as we accept. The human mind is designed to avoid additional work, so by refusing to accept the situations and people around us, we can avoid taking responsibility. That’s the major reason we give ourselves to blame or complain when things don’t go our away. Even though life can be lived this way, it would be much more powerful if we accept and take responsibility for whatever it is, and gear up for further action in the direction that we wish.

A large portion of what we get in life is beyond our control. Accepting and letting go of resistance is difficult but the two steps in conquering this resistant phenomenon in life are ‘acceptance’ and ‘letting go’. As the saying goes “Resistance causes persistence, Acceptance causes disappearance.” More we resist any person or situation, more it persists in our lives. The moment we accept, that feeling of resentment, dissatisfaction and discontentment disappears.

Acceptance is a challenging yet liberating process. It is the time when we let go of who we believe we should be and start living as who we truly are and work towards who we want to be. Acceptance helps us make wiser choices. When we stop fighting things and accept them as they are, making wise decisions that produce favorable outcomes becomes easier. And such outcomes further boost our self-esteem and teach us how to get better in life. In fact, the best way to accept ourselves is by accepting the way we are and the way we are not. This is the most difficult aspect of the acceptance process that I have encountered so far. I truly feel that I am lot calmer and peaceful that I have started practicing acceptance for myself, for others around me, and for situations/results around. In addition, I have more time and energy to spend in organizing and implementing action items. Furthermore, acceptance?has made it possible to produce desired results consistently, which was not the case in the past. I had no idea acceptance held such power.

The power of acceptance is that it shifts our energy and allows us to be free. Acceptance?allows us to focus on what would make us happy and joyful, let go of anger and grudges, finish what we started, take care of ourselves and those around us, and unleash our creative potential. I believe it's a wonderful way to live, isn’t it?