The Power of Acceptance

Discover Humanity’s Highest Purpose; How to Wake Up

I'm a recovering control freak. Motivated by the fear of failure as a younger man, I learned the power of loving all that is. It's a daily practice that lasts for a lifetime.

If you or anyone you know is suffering through a dark, dreary night of the soul, let me assure you that suffering is the gateway to serenity once we learn to surrender to the power within us all; infinite, bright, all-loving Light that goes by many names.

Wisdom knows I vastly overestimated my ability and underestimated all the risks. Wisdom knows how little we know and control. In fact, other than our God-given conscious minds, we control nothing, if not the delusion that keeps us in the dark.

I hope my article shows people the way to acceptance, detachment, and sustained serenity. My article is about waking up based on my direct experience of being a selfish jerk too often.

As a result, I am humbled.

Waking Up Is Our Highest Purpose

Countless teachers, saints, sages, mystics, monks, and creative, outlying misfits have shown us how to wake up to know our highest calling is to wake up.

The path to waking up leads us to acceptance, detachment, grace, and virtues instead of vices. Waking up goes by many names depending on our age, culture, family, and teachings as a child.

1. Enlightenment is a term commonly misunderstood. There are many paths to "waking up," depending on culture and faith. Enlightenment is the path anyone can follow to improve their awareness by letting go of the selfish and harmful tendencies humans embrace. Some describe a "burning bush" experience that's transformative, and others report a more gradual and progressive path.
2. Bodhi is the Buddhist term for one who is enlightened. When people asked Buddha who he was, he said, "I am awake."
3. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)
4. Self-realization is commonly used in an Eastern context.
5. Self-actualization is the term used by Abraham Maslow in the Hierarchy of Human Needs, which you may recall from high school.
6. The famous Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung used self-individuation.
7. Abrahamic religious concepts include Theosis, Kenosis, illumination, revelation, insight, the way, conversion, and Christ consciousness, to name a few.
8. Moksha is another term for waking up, found in Hinduism. The word derives from its Sanskrit root Maksa or liberation. It's about liberation from the worldly, fallen self who seemingly misses marks and lives in shame, guilt, fear, self-pity, and self-doubt.
9. Kevala is a term found in Hinduism, particularly in Jainism. It refers to a state of absolute perfection, liberation, and enlightenment. In Jain philosophy, Kevala is the highest spiritual state a soul can attain, characterized by infinite knowledge, infinite perception, infinite power, and infinite bliss. It represents the complete detachment from worldly attachments and the realization of the true nature of the self.
10. Most of us have heard Nirvana, and it's not the band. If you study the roots of the faith, you'll learn that Nirvana is the ultimate goal of spiritual liberation and enlightenment. The term "nirvana" literally means "blowing out" or "extinguishing," indicating the extinguishing of the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion, which are the root causes of suffering.

Here's the point; we all can transform ourselves to the extent we have a burning desire and no attachment to the outcome. Your journey is about learning to be more than you do.

Letting go, being still, and searching inside ourselves is how to find serenity.

Transcending the Seeming Insanity

We see what is within us. That's a universal law. Suppose our home, garage, yard, cars, workspace, and world is full of mistakes, oversights, piles, disorganized, unreliable, hypocritical, and hypercritical of self and others. In that case, it's only natural that the same is inside us.

Ancient wisdom in the times of Eqypt taught us, "As within, so without. As above, so below." Such is the Hermetic wisdom known to few over the ages.

Now you know. If the world around you is insane, start with yourself.

Finding Acceptance

Finding inner peace and contentment in our fast-paced and ever-changing world can often feel like an elusive goal. However, one timeless principle that holds the key to serenity is the power of acceptance.

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering.” — Gautama Buddha

When we embrace acceptance, we cultivate a profound sense of calm and understanding, allowing us to navigate life's challenges gracefully. Let's explore the concept of acceptance, its relation to mindful detachment, the Observer of life from Zen Buddhism, and draw inspiration from the profound wisdom of mystics across various faiths.

Acceptance is embracing reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. Acceptance is acknowledging and embracing the present moment, recognizing that it is our only reality.

Acceptance does not imply passivity or resignation; instead, it is an active choice to let go of the desire for things to be different and to find peace within the present circumstances.

Acceptance is closely intertwined with the concept of mindful detachment, which is a fundamental aspect of Zen Buddhism. Mindful detachment involves observing the ebb and flow of life without clinging or grasping onto its transient nature.

By cultivating detachment, we free ourselves from the constant striving, attachments, and aversions that create suffering. We learn to let go of our desires, expectations, and judgments, allowing us to experience life in its purest form.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” — Psalm 46:10

Be the Observer

I learned the power of being an observer from my father just before he passed to the other side. My father was a modern-day mystic jammed into a Catholic marriage that plagued our family with fear, shame, and guilt.

On one of our last phone calls, I bragged to my father about my small business success and how I planned to set another record the following year.

He listened like a saint, and hearing what I did not say, he said, "Clifford, that's all great stuff for your business. But when will you learn to slow down, enjoy life, be grateful for your beautiful family, and celebrate the life you've been given and created? When will you learn to become the Observer instead of getting so wrapped up in the world?"

The concept of the Observer refers to a state of mindful awareness where we become detached from our thoughts, emotions, and external circumstances. It is the recognition that we are not our experiences; instead, we are the awareness that witnesses them.

• For example, the map you read is not the journey.
• The menu is not the food.
• The tree you see is not a table.

By assuming the Observer's position, we gain clarity and insight, enabling us to respond to life's challenges with poise and wisdom.

Here's a profound reminder of how little we control once we learn who's in charge:

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” — Lao Tzu

"Trust in the Heart"

Here's a translation of the poem "Trust in the Heart" by the Chinese Zen master, Seng-ts'an, also known as the Third Zen Patriarch.

I read a translation in Huston Smith's timeless classic, The World's Religions."

The perfect way knows no difficulties,

Except that it refuses to make preferences;

Only when freed from hate and love

Does it reveal itself fully and without disquise:

A tenth of an inch’s difference,

And heaven and heart are set apart.

If you wish to see it before your own eyes

Have no fixed thoughts either for or against it.

To set up what you like against what you dislike -

That is the disease of the mind.

The way is perfect like unto vast space,

With nothing wanting, nothing superfluous.

It is due to making choices

That its Suchenss is lost sight of.

The One is none other than the All, the All none other than the One.

Take your stand on this, and the rest will follow of its own accord.

I have spoken, but in vain, for what can words tell

Of things that have no yesterday, tomorrow, or today?

Mindful Detachment

To break free from this madness, we must embrace acceptance and detachment. Acceptance is the key to understanding our true purpose, while detachment allows us to focus on what truly matters. In essence, detachment is letting go and prioritizing what is essential.

In a world that constantly entices us to buy unnecessary things and incur financial burdens, detachment becomes vital. We can find clarity and regain control over our lives by detaching ourselves from material possessions and external desires.

Acceptance and detachment are intertwined. When we accept life's impermanence and unpredictability, we can better detach ourselves from fleeting distractions and false realities. This allows us to prioritize our inner growth and connection with what is real.

“Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?” — Rumi

The Serenity Prayer

In closing, let me leave you with one of the most transformative prayers in my prayer playbook; The Serenity Prayer.

The Serenity Prayer is a widely known prayer that has brought solace and guidance to countless individuals facing challenges and seeking serenity. It was written by Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian, ethicist, and professor who significantly shaped Christian social ethics and political thought during the 20th century.

Here's the original text translated:

“God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.”

Here's the short version found in all 12 Step programs:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

In conclusion, the journey toward finding the gift of acceptance and the path to serenity is profoundly personal and transformative. It requires a shift in perspective, letting go of control, and embracing the present moment.

Acceptance is not resignation or passivity but an active choice to find peace within our circumstances. It is intertwined with mindful detachment, observing life without clinging to its transient nature.

Historically, various traditions and faiths have offered wisdom on awakening and self-realization. From Buddhism to Christianity, Hinduism to Jainism, the concept of waking up and finding enlightenment has been explored using different terms and practices. Regardless of the terminology, the essence remains the same — an invitation to transcend the ego and embrace our true nature.

Being the Observer of our experiences allows clarity and equanimity in facing life's challenges. Acceptance and detachment free us from material possessions and desires, focusing on what truly matters.

The journey toward acceptance and serenity requires practice, patience, and self-reflection. We find inner peace and contentment amidst challenges by embracing acceptance, cultivating detachment, and seeking wisdom from spiritual traditions.

May we have the courage to accept what cannot be changed, the strength to change what we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This article was originally published on Medium. I'm a partner in a commercial real estate investment, development, and consulting firm based in Scottsdale, Arizona. When not serving our client investors, my passion and mission is empowering people to transform by understanding the convergence of faith, spirituality, psychology, and neuroscience. Subscribe to the Soul Psyche Newsletter on Substack by?clicking here.