The Pounding of the Pavement

This morning I need a restart. Things haven’t gone my way the past week. I’d hoped for a better outcome than the one I received…it’s time to take back control.?

In a moment like that, most people would reach for the quick win. They’d grab something inside the fridge to give them a hit of dopamine. Not me… I opt for an exchange of short-term pain for a long-term reward: exercise.

In many ways, the choice has been made for me: I’m going for a run. It’s exactly what I need to clear my mind; to prove to myself that I’m in control of my destiny. I always have been, I’m just feeling deflated by an external factor at the moment.

I tie up my running shoes and say goodbye to the family. No need to explain myself, they know that when I reach for my running shoes on the Sabbath, Sunday turns into “Run”day. Without realizing it, I’m teaching my loved ones the right way to deal with stress and frustration: work out.?

I close the front door and lock it. As soon as I turn around, I’m greeted by the day. The entire world lies in front of me. The morning air is fresh, the trees and grass are painted a vibrant green, the palm trees seemingly wave at me to cheer me on.

My destination is always the same during my morning run: the other side of our community’s pond. A 3-mile run there and back. It’s the perfect blend of distance, difficulty, and good fortune. What will I find there today? A good idea? Peace of mind? Confidence? The options are endless…all I need to do is get there.

I know the course like the back of my hand...

Turn left out of my driveway...

Turn right at the stop sign...

Turn left onto Magnolia Boulevard...

Turn left on Valley Drive...

Keep straight at the intersection of Valley Drive and Bloom Avenue...

Lastly, stop at the pond to take in the sights and sounds of nature.

Turn left out of the driveway. I plug my headphones in and get to work. I only have until the end of the block to warm up my body – a mere 20 steps, maximum. I allow a podcast to play as I run: exercising and learning at the same time? There’s nothing better. Plus, it allows me to stay in tune with my rhythm and breathing. Nothing’s more contagious than the pounding of pavement. Nothing.

As I stare straight ahead, I’m reminded of my end goal: the other side of the pond. I can see a sliver of it between the houses straight ahead. The rest of the houses will block it from my sight until I arrive at the “finish line.” I prefer it that way.

Turn right at the stop sign. With those thoughts, I’m off in a dash. I keep to the right side of the road so that I can see oncoming traffic–call me paranoid, if you’d like. My tempo is off at first, I need to catch a rhythm.

My legs churn under me. I’m excited for what’s ahead! This is just what I needed, I tell myself. The asphalt is rough, but I can manage. The host of the podcast I’m listening to drops some profound knowledge for me to chew on. That will serve me well for the next few minutes... or so I thought.

-One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.-

Turn left on Magnolia Boulevard. Things are starting to get a little dicey. Maybe you shouldn’t commit to a 3-mile run today, says my conscience. You’ve had a tough week, things didn’t go your way… maybe you should take a rest day instead… it’s not too late to turn back.?

No! I reply. I won't quit.

This is when my conscience starts to negotiate. You’re absolutely right, let’s keep going until the next stop sign, then we’ll turn back. A 1-mile run is still a great accomplishment!

NO! I retort. I don’t settle.

My conscience puts its metaphorical hands up. You’re right. You don’t! We will run to the other end of the pond, as planned. We can always walk on the way back…

Wrong again, I state, I will just focus on one stride at a time. It will be worth it. Get behind me.

-One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.-

Turn left onto Valley Drive. A pain shoots up my right side… my right hamstring is sore from my leg workout the day before. Uh oh, did I just pull it?

Here comes the spiral: my feet also hurt. I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’ve had a bad week, my business will never grow, no one cares about my work, everyone was right about me, I’ve failed my spouse, I’ve failed my kids.… Why do I bother trying?

These thoughts are perpetual. They wait until I’m in pain to strike… then they bombard me. I consider myself an optimistic person, but I deal with failures just like everyone else.

But here’s the reality: there’s always pain to deal with. That pain could be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual–or any combination of the four! Whenever that pain compounds, I know it means I’ve hit the lowest point of any journey. I only have two choices now: quit or keep going.?

In this particular moment, against all odds, I choose the latter. I have to trust that destiny has a reward for me at the end of this run–I just need to get there. Don’t let the pain win!

-One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.-

Keep straight at the intersection of Valley Drive and Bloom Avenue. Things are looking up! The pain seems to have subsided and I’m working up a good sweat.?

Mere moments ago, I was self-conscious about how I looked to the people driving by. Do they think I’m in good shape? Do they think I run goofy? Now, I’ve found a wave of confidence. Heck yeah they think I’m in good shape! My neighbors WISH they could run as fast as me!?

The confidence might be a tad overzealous, but it beats what I was feeling before.

I can feel it now. Each step I take has a purpose. The individual steps themselves aren’t impressive… yet the culmination of them all certainly is! Thousands of steps have gotten me this far, I tell myself, now I just need a few hundred more.?

Momentum is my friend, now. Whenever that happens, my mind knows to take it and run with it. It starts to lay out some questions–constructive questions–I can use as fuel for good ideas.

How can I have a better week this week?

What are the things I can control?

How can I be of service to others?

The answers to these questions are fuzzy at best. The crazy part? They seem to get clearer as I get closer to my destination–success is weird in that way.

This is it. The final stretch of my run. My body is moving like a well-oiled machine: my mind has been cleansed, my legs run on autopilot–fully in tune with the rhythm I harped on them at the beginning.

-One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.-

Stop at the pond. As soon as I come to a stop, the sights and sounds consume me. Pelicans and seagulls rest on the trees in the pond’s lone island. The water ripples from the wind. A flock of ducks waddle past me, quacking, as if they’re applauding my efforts.

Glancing up from the water, I notice the stillness of the neighborhood. While my neighbors pour their first cup of coffee, I’ve overcome an entire emotional journey–I take tremendous pride in that.

I acknowledge the color that surrounds me. The green of the grass and trees, the deep blue water, the white clouds… all of which pale in comparison to the colors of the sun and the warmth it brings.

Man, this feels good.?

I turn my attention to my thoughts. Now, about those questions…

How can I have a better week this week?

What are the things I can control?

How can I be of service to others?

My conscience is excited to answer those questions–having a fresh jolt of energy from all the dopamine my run has provided it. See? I told you it would be worth it, I tell it.

The quantity of ideas is overwhelming. My brain now has the confidence to cure all of mankind, at least, it thinks it does. Each thought now sounds like its own voice… any one of them could send me down a rabbit hole.?

As I stand in the middle of all these ideas that surround me, I start to feel stressed out by my own pattern of thinking.?

I take a deep breath. Suddenly, it all clicks for me. All three of my questions have the same answer: stick to the plan.

WHAT?! My conscience screams. After all these ideas I’ve given you, you’re going to “stick with the plan?”

Yep, I confirm with a smile. Because, just like our battle during the run, I already know what I want to accomplish.?

I’m just going to focus on one stride at a time.

It will be worth it.

Get behind me.

Smiling, I start my run back the way I came.

-One, two, three, inhale. One, two, three, exhale.-