Potential I have

Potential we have, have we explored it yet? Where can we go? What can we do? Is it the prime or just momentary high? I don’t know. I was trying to climb Asia's Second largest monolithic rock with my best friend. We started the plan by discussing it last evening. We decided that if we have to make it before sunrise then we have to start by 2 AM from our apartment. So I decided not to sleep at night, and write my thesis till it's time to go. Around 1 AM, I felt like having a drink and went up to my friend to ask him if he was interested. As always he was. We started out with one peg and it ended with three. Conversations with close ones at night with peace around you really can be deep and interesting. By 2:30 AM we were ready to leave and we started upon this journey. The part which was to be covered by car was fun and comfortable. I was in control. When we reached the trek. We were in a post drunk, sleepy and fragile state. I am telling you all this because it could be an excuse I will use later.

The first leg was a normal climb on a rocky trail. Soon that converted into stairs cut out in rock with a side railing to hold on to. As height increased our fatigue started to set in. At the halfway point there was a stretch where the railing was missing and it was the steepest we have seen on this trek. My friend had his biker shoes which says that it has the toughest grip but in a rocky mountain is a proper waste with grip. So he gave up, being tired, sleepy and with the wrong shoe, it was a wise decision. I was in better shape than him. But I also gave up. When I descended down I saw kids running and going above with enthusiasm and I was surprised because for me it was very tough and they seemed to be conquering it with much ease. The first reaction, I am not young anymore but you can’t lie to yourself. Twenty-nine is not an age for giving up. And I gave up. Why didn’t I try those railings? What I was scared of. Did giving up better than failing?

People often say that you have a lot of potentials. But who knows. What is the end of the line for anyone? Have I reached my true potential? Why did I give up on the summit of the mountain? What stopped me, fear of heights, or tiredness or my friend from giving up?

I have no answers to this question. And whenever I think about it I end up finding more cases where I gave up very easily. Am I a runner?

May Yes. But why is that, what could be the reason. Should I blame the society near me which always told me to be safe? No to take risks, never to stand for anything, always find the safe way and run from situations. Or was it the experiences that started with smaller things but eventually became a habit? Well, there are various other things I can excuse about but the main reason is that I chose this.?

Yeah and this is stopping me from reaching my true potential. It is me who has created inertia I can’t come out of. And if anyone can break this, well it has to be an external force. Even physics agrees with that. What could be it? Any event in life which shakes me up or it could be any person. I am waiting hopelessly for any such thing to happen. Because this buffer situation has got stuck here and I need some help to break free.?

I am Waiting.

To know the potential I have...