Postcard # 14 - Return Down Under

"All good things must come to an end". So wrote Geoffrey Chaucer in 1370. As has my October in Singapore. Did I learn anything? Did I enjoy myself? Firstly, who was Geoffrey?

Geoffrey wrote 'The Canterbury Tales', and like you, not surprisingly I don't have a copy on my bedside table. Interesting that Geoff's proverb, time travelled 650 years down to us and remains in common use. Mr Chaucer also was responsible for the common use of the English Language. Prior to his ponderings, the dominant languages in England were 'Viking Norman French' and 'Roman Latin'.

But for Geoff, I would be writing this in French or Latin, with or without a cow horned hat. Which is just as well, as my English is barely comprehensible, let alone my school-boy Latin. So back to Singapore October 2022.

Postcard # 1, confirmed my limited knowledge of Singapore. I certainly managed to destroy some common misconceptions about Singapore: Singapore is a benevolent autocracy, with strict rules, which are, well strictly enforced through combinations of fines, imprisonment and canning on the bare buttocks. None of that seems true.

Tourist guide-books warn of all the 'Don't Do's': Littering, chewing gum, vaping, loitering and a host of misdemeanors! Reality on the ground? No idea how you would know any of this, as there is a singular absence of signage warning against anything. Everyone was smoking, vaping and yes dropping litter! Singapore may be softening and liberalizing in its economic maturity: But I think it can now afford some litter bins surely?

What about Big Brother Policing and Security Forces?

I counted 15 police officers. And 5 of these were comfortably drinking zhenzhu naicha, (Japanese Buba Tea) and Deep-Fried Chicken in an airconditioned Hawker Centre - I guess it was their patrol beat! Singapore Police are a happy smiley lot, perhaps it's because they don't actually do anything? Or perhaps working off your 2 years compulsory conscription in the Police, is preferable to grunting it out with the Army, slogging through stinking humid jungle, keeping tabs on Indonesian extremist gangs?

Police forces the world over, work best when members reflect the ethnic makeup of the community: In Singapore this rule applies, Chinese, Malays and Indians primarily as you can see.

The other 9 Police I met were always in groups of 3, and they were young, very young. Conscription starts at 18, so best to get it done and return too 'Crazy Rich Asian' pursuits.

Hardly Big Brother's Street Muscle, designed to intimidate. They looked more like high school students who knicked dad's uniform for 'Dress Like a Cop Day'. But,

Then you see this:

A reminder that: Singapore is not backward about displays of public force, that the threat of extremism, racial or religious based, remains: And, it's not going to be tolerated thank you very much!

Singapore is humid! Strewth, what an understatement. We found ourselves retiring to our hotel around 2pm and moving out again around 6pm. Plenty of time for movies: 'Crazy Rich Asians'.

It's an entertaining predictable Love Story, very much a travel blog showing off some of the essential spirit of Singapore. But is Singapore anything like this? Where are all the crazy rich Asians? No doubt hanging in flash houses and the sort of clubs not accessible to Aussie Tourists. Perhaps they are, but generally I found Singapore's residents lacking in ostentation.

Living in the CBD, I observed plenty of men and women, sporting fine suits, staggeringly high heels, tight skirts, pearls, Swiss brand watches, Italian leather and the rest of the bling, but very much the exception. Singaporeans dress very conservatively, indeed the only cleavage on display was most certainly chubby English tourists. Did I mention exotic cars?

If Singaporeans restrain their public dress, they make up for it with their cars! Well only some Singaporeans own cars, 11%. Add $95,000 for a 10-year license, before you purchase your car: Serious loot. EG: A relatively humble Toyota Carolla in Australia, change out of $40,000. Singapore, same car $125,000 plus the $95,000 license. So, you need to be a crazy rich Asian to own a car, and plenty do: Porsche, Bugatti, Jaguar, Mercs, Ferrari, Maserati, Bentley, Rolls and Lamborghini: all finely represented. And they leave them laying around for any old bogan to fondle:

What of the 89% of Singaporeans blocked from car ownership? Mass Rapid Transport (MRT), think London or New York underground: Only in Singapore it works, is clean, is reliable and so ridiculously cheap. So, for under $2.00 easy 20-minute air-conditioned spin from the suburbs to the CBD. So, Singapore has suburbs?

Indeed, but not what most Australian, Brits or Americans might imagine. Welcome to suburban Singapore:

Investment in public housing, and an innovative public funded finance scheme since 1965, now sees 90% of Singaporeans own their own home. There is simply zero stigma associated. These are planned communities, with shopping, schools, sports, entertainment and health care. A personal tour convinced me of their uniqueness on the world stage: The lifts worked, the ground floor vending machines, were clean, stocked and had not been vandalized!

They might not be pretty, but they work: They've been the engine lifting the majority of Singaporeans out of poverty and poor health. No doubt many in the West would shout 'socialism', 'communism': But this is Singapore, pragmatic, Government run and it works brilliantly!

So, all this talk of home has me pondering my own home. One afternoon, sheltering from the humidity, on came Gordon Ramsay cooking Down Under in Tasmania.

Immediately I was struck by the Ugly Unique Beauty of the Aussie Gum Tree. I knew it was time to head home. And so, we did. But,

Home just long enough to pack the truck and head out to embrace some of that Aussie beauty:

Postcard # 1 warned of my food ponderings. What's an Aussie Travel Postcard without a bush cooked damper?

Time travel is amazing so is pondering what you discover.

Next trip Malaysia! Now where to start that time travel, how about the year that Julius Caesar invaded Britain 2077 years back in time, set that machine! Ok, who knicked me reading glasses, can't see the dials!