Post Target Job Search- Version 2.0

I’ve had a little uptick in the last few weeks from former Targeteers reaching out to network. On the couple of message boards I track I’ve seen a little phenomenon going on- the Post Target Job 2.0. More than few folks have discovered that that first job after long years at Target isn’t exactly working out and they’ve decided to leave their new companies after a few months and seek opportunities elsewhere, some into new jobs and some.. back to the search. That’s always an indicator of unhappiness. There’s also few people I’ve talked too, who are pretty unhappy in their new roles but for reasons like healthcare or financial stability are staying put, but aren’t happy about it.

Sound familiar to anyone out there? I’m going to bare all here and let you know that it certainly sounds familiar to me. Been through this process myself.

There one constant about change that seems to be inevitable.

It’s really hard!

Even I, yes I, underestimated how hard it could be.  

Couple words of advice I would offer, based on a lot of conversations with a lot of different people.

You’ve been in your new job for a few months now. The euphoria of landing on your feet after the trauma of a layoff have worn off and now you realize that you didn’t land your dream job, and something about it is making you unhappy. Before succumbing to misery take a few minutes and do a little self-assessment of your situation, job wise and emotionally wise.

My wife and I went through this very same situation 20 years ago.  About 4 months after we moved to Minnesota and after living our entire lives in California, she was miserable. I remember it well, we were eating dinner at a fast-food place and we just started to make a list of what we liked and didn’t like. More as a way to amuse ourselves and bitch a bit than anything else. It was our first winter after all, and it was also the worst winter in 100 years. She was done here and was really upset about it.

What we needed was perspective.  The things that enticed us to move here in the first place, were still in play. And the things we didn’t like made for an interesting list that we were able to use to put our situation in perspective and make our next decisions from a much better place. BTW, we’re still in Minnesota.  

I’ve put myself through this process a million times since then and thought I’d share in the hope that someone out there who finds themselves in unhappy and prone to quick decisions might take find some of this useful.

Make a two column list

The exercise starts with a simple two column list- Pros and Cons. You’ve probably done this in your head a million times.  The key here is DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!!! Just write what pops into your head. More is better here. In both columns.

Categorize your Cons

Once you’ve got your lists do a little categorization exercise. Next to each issue decide if it’s a “REAL” issue or a “PERCIEVED” issue and note it. And be honest here. Hint- if you’re questioning an items designation, it’s perceived.

Real Issues:

For my wife and I there were a few really legitimate issues that we either underestimated the impact off or which we really didn’t realize would be issues when we moved. For example being 1000 miles away from family meant keeping connections were far more difficult, and while we knew that was going to be hard, we didn’t realize that missing day to day events we took for granted when we lived nearby were a big deal. (Not to mention on-call babysitting. Didn’t even think about that)

Perceived Issues:

Surprisingly the vast majority of issues listed in the “con” section were not really issues per se, but were in actually simply a reaction to change. And despite my stoic nature and self-described ability to roll with change, it’s hard and I just didn’t admit it. The good news about the issues that fell into this category, 99% of these resolve over time. Driving in snow, something we were terrified off living in California was mitigated after a few months and we can laugh about it now. Funny how I no longer get that adrenaline rush I used too when the car slides through an intersection. Where I used to panic, I now just try to aim for a snowbank and move on.

Quadrants

Next a little quadrant fun. I love me a good quadrant analysis. In this case jot down an X-Y axis. On one side is Real vs. Perceived on the other axis Big Deal vs Annoyance.  Simple. Now place the Cons on the quadrants. If you’re like me you’ll find a ton if insights in what you’re not liking about a situation.

• Lots of items in the perceived side, in my opinion, indicate change issues. For things in the perceived/annoyance quadrant, stop whining. Fair? Read them to yourself again if you disagree.
• The Big Deal/Perceived quadrant probably contains things you want to come up with a plan to mitigate. These are things that are causing you to be unhappy, but, they’re on you. That’s why their perceived. BTW, perfectly acceptable mitigation plan- realize your issue and ignore.
• Items in the Real/Annoyance quadrant are pesky critters. I know from my own experience that these are crappy the little grievances that nag at me, and overtime have a tendency to become overblown. This is change management stuff to, but it’s stuff I might have adapt to.
  Personally I have to reset my attitude on these things all the time. An example in here are the reports that I have to fill out every week that are incredibly annoying and from my perspective, not value added but required. And so when I get feedback about how I filled one out it’s easy to over react and succumb to misery.
• Finally the big nuggets. Every item in the Big Deal/Real quadrant deserves very careful consideration. Things that fall into this quadrant, and how you deal with them, will probably define your overall happiness and even outside the job. Each one of these items needs your attention and requires a plan. This is where your decision to stay or leave company based on your happiness should come from. Note that I didn’t say advancement or promotion. Remembering that the point of this exercise is try to better understand what’s making you unhappy.

But what about those pros?

Pro-Happiness

I have yet to talk to anyone who is in a job that’s 100% bad. People don’t tend to last in those situation. But sometimes, especially when you’re in the misery zone, you can lose sight of the good things that might be going on in a situation. Especially if you’re looking for reasons to be miserable. That’s why I like to do the “happy” stuff after I’ve sorted through the negative.

Keep in mind there were pretty good reasons you decide to make the decisions you did. In our case, moving to Minnesota was probably the best decisions we’ve ever made. But it took time. And it took going to through the process of sorting through some really negative feelings. Taking a new job after years and years of comfortable routine is really challenging. New rules, new culture, things you don’t agree with, issues that nag at you.

My message for Post Job 2.0 folks out there, if you’re unhappy with your new company, I’m not suggesting that you force yourself to stay in bad spot. I would suggest however, take a few minutes to stop and reflect before you make a decision. Just like I advocated taking time for yourself before you embarked on your career search, give yourself the same courtesy before you make a change.

Remember you’re not alone out there.