Is it possible to dream too big?

I have been a little reluctant to post this query from a student in my “Becoming You” class at 美国纽约大学 - 斯特恩商学院 because, truth, its answer flummoxes me, purported career expert that I am. And yet, I cannot get this question out of my head. I venture a reply here, but welcome your thoughts more than ever. Here goes:

Q: Is it possible to dream too big?

Almost 20 years ago, my husband Jack and I had just finished writing our book, WINNING, and we were sitting in the office of our publisher, discussing its promotional campaign. In passing, the publisher mentioned that our book would debut as #1 on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists, and “blah blah blah…”?

I say, “blah blah blah” because I don’t remember anything after that. I’d passed out.?

The truth is, such an eventuality had never, ever dawned on me. Even knowing about the book’s pre-orders, which were off the charts. Even knowing about Jack’s popularity, which was massive. Even knowing what a good book it was, which was very.

I simply had not allowed myself to dream that big. In those days, I never did, and I am still working on it today.

The main reason is that I am, by nature and nurture, an extremely realistic person. So much so, I made the Iggy Azaela song, “Fancy,” my anthem for years, because I thought it began with the words, “First things first, I’m a realist.” She’s actually saying she’s the “real-est.”

(The kids found my mis-hearing of this song so hysterical, by the way, they gave me the Christmas gift pictured here.) Regardless, like many people, I am an expert dream editor, cutting any notions of wild success or amazing achievements down to size with a razor’s eye for what usually happens in this world. Even great books by famous people flop sometimes, right?

I am not alone as a dream editor. Many of us – maybe even most of us – tamp down our own hopes, and we are just as good at doubting and deriding the big plans of others too. ”You’re dreaming,” we tell ourselves and others, as if it’s some kind of crime, “Get real.”

But what’s the point??

I mean – why not permit your imagination to soar with what is possible for you in, as the poet Mary Oliver put it, your “one wild and precious life?” I teach MBA students hoping to create lives of meaning. So many of them are paralyzed by what the world is telling them they cannot do. And I hear myself telling them, “Try anyway.” Not because that’s what they want to hear, but because I need and want them to. For themselves, and for the rest of us.

The world needs big dreamers. It always has, but perhaps now, with all the chaos we face, more than ever. We should encourage dreaming, in ourselves and others, because dreaming is really just the practice of optimism. Thank God Steve Jobs didn’t edit his dreams. Or Oprah. Or Lewis Hamilton. The facts are, almost every person we admire for his or her achievements didn’t tell themselves to “get real” along the way. What a lesser world it would be if they had.

So that’s where I’m at with this one. After a life of holding back, I’m urging others – and myself – to stop the editing. The world will let you know what’s possible in time. But until then, get unreal, and see where your dreams take us all.