Possibility

I just got done listening to Kosha Joubert in conversation with Nora Bateson as part of the Climate Consciousness Summit 2023 (organized by The Pocket Project) and it was just what I needed to hear. There was so much beauty in the exchange, which I think is one of the points Bateson makes. If we were just more present to what is happening in our exchanges.

Although the entire discussion resonated with me, I share five things that touched me the most. I hope that in my sharing, this conversation ripples out to more people. I am not doing the entire hour any form of justice here. I just felt the desire to put something out.

An ecology of responses

We are so stuck trying to find THE solution that we often create more problems. We do not know, ultimately, the impact of our decisions and actions in the bigger picture. We only know what we know in the moment and then the moment moves. Plus, what we know is limited by what we've learned and experienced.

That is why Bateson suggests that we also need an ecology of responses. She says we are often so looked into causality (linear, if this then that) that we miss the possibility bubbling up all around us. "In complex systems, you can never know where things go" which is why we need lots of experimentation and a variety of actions and responses.

Possibility is not what you were looking for

"In those moments where nothing seems possible something else becomes possible and its not the thing you thought you were looking for."?Nora Bateson

Bateson talked about how the noise is so loud and distracting, that it is even hard to live our daily life in its presence. The more distractions there are, the more you might miss the possibilities that were waiting to be seen. To be in possibility requires us to practice living with intention, attunement, and sense into what wants to emerge. She asks the question - "What happens if more of us are informed by the possibility all around us?"

To be honest, I really can't imagine such a place at the moment. I am a little stuck in my stuckness. At this point, I ordered her book Combining and am inspired to work further into my stuckness toward possibility. Who knows what's to come? Perhaps even something better than I could have imagined anyway?

Possibility of us, together

"How is the way that I'm being opening and closing the limitation of who we can both be together?" Nora Bateson

In this section of the discussion, Bateson spoke of the intimacy of complexity. We understand that our complexity starts in those most intimate moments together, developing in a relationship.

The way I think of you and you, I, informs the relationship, as do our gestures, language (verbal and non), etc. When I heard this I thought of Thomas Hübl, PhD "I feel you, feeling me." And I think of there is you and there is me and the space between us is this relationship. So, how are we caring for the space between?

Can I be expansive about the way I think of you? In what ways am I limiting you, which then limits the relationship? And, if that's just me and you, how are we limiting each other in groups?

How is the story I am telling myself about you, limiting how I see you, limiting your personhood, limiting the beauty and gifts that you are? I love imagining what could be. At the same time, that requires me to look deep within and be fully present to my own thoughts, feelings and actions. That's not easy in our superficial world. But, what if we could take just one step into thinking about this and how it might change our relationships?

I don't want to change you

"I don't want to change you. I am not in any way coming from a place of thinking that I have the right or business of changing other people, ever. But what I would like to do is to provide lots of things for you to explore and for you to make your own connections and see how they resonate and shift and re-arrange things in you. I don't want to say how - a model to make you a better person. I would never do that. To me, that is a wild act of violence. I want you to be your own ecology, full of possibilities that I could have never imagined."?Nora Bateson

I almost cried during this section. I felt seen and heard. In my workshops, I come out right up front letting people know I don't have some "silver bullet." I provide a menu of tools, questions, and materials for you to take and I can't possibly know which one will stick for you. I don't know you and your situation. Therefore, to tell you that I know what you should do is what Bateson referred to as a "wild act of violence."

I work inside a system that says that step-by-step instructions and detailed answers must be provided or it's not worth my time. That makes me think of a guy in my human-nature series, which is all about contemplation, who claimed I had nothing for him as someone in hunting and fishing. He missed the entire point of the series. And, I think it is sad when people can't come in with curiosity about what else might be possible.

I'm probably not as advanced as Bateson, but NO, I don't want to change you. I am bringing you my lens and asking you to consider how it might also fit in with yours. I also invite challenges and other expertise in the room in my workshops. I am clear on my limited lens, which is why I invite the lenses of others. That's what makes life beautiful! I do want you to "be your own ecology - full of possibilities" and I hope you want that for me too!

Meadowing

This section was just so beautiful because it tied directly to nature.

"So much of possibility has to do with the same way a meadow creates vitality. Right? All the organisms are changing all of the time. And yet the meadow continues to meadow. Winter is coming. Every organism (in that meadow outside my house) is changing. And yet their relationships are still meadowing." Nora Bateson?

As she talked about meadowing, it took me straight back to the prairie oak savannah that I visit as much as I can in the summer (see photo below). I see the interactions of the oak trees, the prairie plants, the bees, the garden spiders, the songbirds and others are playing together in the prairie. Each organism is itself, but it can only truly exist in exchange with the system. Even in the process of dying and wintering, the organisms are preparing for another season. I am not always mindful of my impact on the prairie when I'm there. And yet, I hope they'll keep inviting me in.

Bateson spoke of meadowing not as some form of fantasy or metaphor, but in taking a lens of meadowning to our life WITH RIGOR. We need to think of how the meadow would react within its system as a way for us to look at our own systems - EVERY DAY!

This makes me think of the concept of a Floristic Style of Living in Aldo Leopold's A Sand County Almanac. Imagine what would be possible if we practiced meadowing and a floristic style of living?

Gratitude

I am so grateful for the Nora Batesons of the world who have the gift of looking and dreaming bigger - for what is possible beyond imagination.

What is possible for you? For us? For our organizations? For our world? For our planet? Let's not limit the possibilities!