The Positivity Myth - Believing Everything Is Wonderful Doesn't Always Make It So.

You've heard terms “positive forward momentum” or “happiness is a choice". In management circles many real world problems and challenges raised by some are met with disdain, as if being realistic about matters somehow is the problem. I've actually heard well regarded CEO's extoll this new age pseudo-psychology crap saying "if you see "it" as a problem it will be a problem" as they swat at flies while the elephants run rampant over their team's heads.

Positive thinking as THE solution to ALL problems is the most mythical misapplied philosophical belief system today. In fact the tyranny of positive thinking can actually be very bad for your health and happiness, as many very credible studies will attest. Recent thoughtful studies actually indicate being disagreeable is actually better for your career then going along with the currently in vogue positivity gang.

Self-help books touting the benefits of a positive attitude like; You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero or The Power of Positive Thinking by the Reverend Norman Vincent Peale, published in 1952 and translated into 15 languages, remain very popular today. The idea that you can be happy if you simply choose to be has been integrated into the military, classrooms and workplaces to improve performance. People tend to be hungry for simple answers to complex problems. What is more simple than believe it and that makes it so ? Yet, life isn't ever that simple and there isn't a simple answer to all challenges. Being positive can of course be a great thing; yet thinking simply does not create 100% of any reality. Watch this video from Save The Children until the end; certainly one can't argue that children suffering from the horrible war in Syria are at fault for their lack of positivity.

Actually the Stockdale Paradox referenced in the Collins book From Good to Great speaks of the optimists (another term for "Positivity" minded people). It turns out that there are really two kinds of optimists. There's the candy-coated type that encourages people to escape into fantasies rather than cope with a bad situation. Then there's the brand of optimism that allows people to look at the full horror of their situation square in the face, because they have the grim belief that in the end they will prevail. Both kinds of hope are upsetting, one is air-headed escapism, while the other is focused on gritty reality to be up lifting. It's the latter kind of hope that's captured by the Stockdale Paradox and the kind of hope that truly separates great leaders and people from others IMHO.

"You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties while at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." - Jim Stockdale

In his book In Love and War: The Story of a Family's Ordeal and Sacrifice During the Vietnam Years , Stockdale explains his story as a prisoner of war and what he learned. Tortured over 20 times during his eight-year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973, Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner's rights, no set release date, and no certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family. He shouldered the burden of command, doing everything he could to create conditions that would increase the number of prisoners who would survive unbroken.

Stockdale shared his learnings about optimists: “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

In response to the question “Who didn’t make it out?” Stockdale said, “Oh, that’s easy, The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say,‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart. This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

Author Mitch Horowitz sets forth his views on positivity through an historical exploration of its impact on American culture in the book One Simple Idea : How Positive Thinking Reshaped American Life. Here's a quote :

“The principle of positive thinking is simplicity itself. Picture an outcome, dwell on it in your thoughts and feelings, and unseen agencies—whether metaphysical or psychological—will supposedly come to your aid. Seen in this way, the mind is a causative force.” 

Horowitz explored seven myths of Positivity that many deploying its dictum should be wary of. In fact the movement of positive thinking historically has often been misapplied and the fundamentals behind these beliefs are often at odds with their philosophical underpinnings when you study the historical context of their beginnings.

It is good career and life advice to lean towards Stockdale's view of being a realistic optimist: never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. If someone tells you your creating a problem by being a realist its time to reconsider who your hearing this from.

What do you think ?

Bryan O’Rourke is a board member, executive, advisor, keynote speaker and author who has successfully led global brands in a variety of roles for over 30 years. He guides and works in and with many fitness and health club brands and serves on several leading for profit and non-profit boards. He is CSO for Gold's Gym of Houston with founders Bryan and Kristi Murphy. He launched Vedere Ventures, a boutique private equity firm in 2016, which has invested in a number of companies and is President of the Fitness Industry Technology Council which supports the Fitness + Technology Podcast, check it out today. Get his recent book the 9 Partnership Principles written with his partner Robert Dyer and other top fitness industry leaders. Follow him on all the major social platforms @bryankorourke and visit bryankorourke.com .