#PositiveVibes - No Text Zone

By John R. Nocero and Sandy Abell

John: I finally did it!! last week, I downloaded an app to my phone that eliminates use of all of the other applications until a pre-determined time. I can by-pass it, but if I do, I have to put in a password to do it, which builds my accountability. It also deletes any texts from people while the app is applied, with the exception of my wife, son and best friend. I have said I wanted to eliminate using my phone for too long that it is time that I took back control of my time. Surprisingly, not everyone was thrilled.

Kel told me last night that a friend texted her to see what is going on with me. He said he sent multiple texts over the last month that come back undelivered. He e-mailed me and I explained that I took charge of my phone, with my new app. He said, "but how will we communicate?" I don't know, e-mail, the phone, even carrier pigeon works, I would love to get a letter.

It's funny but it is your life. You own it. Your results come from your decisions.

Sandy, you and I seem to communicate just fine and I don't think we've ever sent a text message. I told him it was not about him, but about my boundaries and to respect them. He replied, "I get it. I wish I had half the strength you do with it."

It isn't about strength. It is about being clear on what you want and what you don't. and then actually doing it.

Sandy, thoughts?

Sandy: Great idea John! I didn’t know there was such an app, but it sounds helpful for folks who get too many texts.

It makes sense for you to do this if you want to cut down on texting distractions. Also, your friend’s concern makes sense, because he had no idea you made a change. You just disappeared, which could be worrisome to people who are used to being in touch with you through texts

So, my thought is that it’s great to set whatever boundaries will work for you. As you said, it’s important to be clear about what you want and what you don’t, and then follow through with actions that support your desires.

However, it’s also important to let people know that a new line has been drawn. That there is now a new course of action. As you told your friend, it’s not about him, but it will affect him, so here is the new plan. Let him know the changes you’ve made and how you’d like him to proceed in the future.

As always, clear communication is the key.

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