#PositiveVibes - Struggle's The Same
John R. Nocero PhD, CCRP
Director of Quality and Compliance | All Gas, No Brakes
By John R. Nocero and Nicole M. Palmer
The VIBE: We are more similar than we think we are.
John: I just got an e-mail from someone where I had to reschedule a phone call from this morning to later in the afternoon. Just had too many things that were going on. I got a sweet reply back - the key to life is less stress is best. Call when works for your schedule. Now I am trying to get past the struggle – looking at things being easy rather than hard, and not struggling for the sake of struggle. Someone asked me yesterday, “John, where are you going to be in five years.” The honest truth is in I have no idea. If I set hard and fast goals, I have a chance to reach them but I also have a chance at grave disappointment. But if I build good habits and continue to improve them – get my work done, spend time with those I love, eliminate what I don’t love, I have a better chance at success.
The McKays talk about this here. “In the first several weeks of life, an embryo is only influenced by its X chromosome. A female embryo will continue to develop through its influence alone. A male embryo will only develop the features of such when a gene of the Y chromosome activates, inhibiting female features and imposing male ones through genetic dominance.After the child leaves the womb, ceases to nurse at mother’s breast, and begins to grow independently, some psychologists have hypothesized that boys have a more difficult time finding themselves than girls; the girl is female, and emerged from a female; the male must gain a more distinct, differentiated identity. As a help in gaining this identity, and as training for stepping into the universal male roles of protector and provider, all cultures around the world would lead boys through a rite of passage.
The title of man was not something inherent, a matter of biological destiny, but something earned through these tests of skill, discipline, and fortitude. The successful completion of this initiation was still not the end of a male’s quest for manhood, but only its beginning. Manhood had to be earned and re-earned one’s whole life through. So it is that we still say, “Be a man,” while a female equivalent to this injunction does not exist. Manhood then, from conception to old age, IS struggle. The struggle to move from dependence to independence, to step into a male identity, to attain one’s masculine powers.
Nicole, is this just a man thing? I am questioning this. Thinking that the struggle is the same for both of us? You certainly have a ton of super-hero feminine powers. Do you get them without some sort of struggle? I say no, and the struggle is the same for both of us? Thoughts?
Nicole: When a woman becomes pregnant, the brain undergoes structural and organizational remodeling which helps the women transition into motherhood. There is a significant decrease in gray matter during a women’s brain during pregnancy and up to 2 years post-partum. Men do not go through this brain remodeling when they become fathers. It’s interesting that your brain is capable of preparing you to think differently knowing that you will be responsible for another human being and only woman go through this. Just because you are losing gray matter does not mean that you are really losing, you are fine tuning your nurturing skills.
A study was conducted in Spain of 25 first time mothers pre and post pregnancy. Researchers were looking at their brain scans and compared them to the father’s brain scans. “The pattern of structural changes the researchers observed in the new mothers were so distinct that it was possible to identify the mothers just from their brain scans. Those changes endured for at least two years, except for a partial return to its previous state in the hippocampus, a brain structure heavily involved with memory.”
What I find interesting is, “the researchers also found that some women had more gray matter pruning than others, and those with the most pruning seemed to bond best with their babies.” Mother nature is incredible. When I read this and I thought about your question, John, I thought to myself, is the struggle the same for us? Mother nature is shaping us to be nurturers. How does mother nature shape the man to be a provider/protector?
Please remember to like and share ;)