#PositiveVibes - So Much Joy

By John R. Nocero and Maryl Petreccia

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” ~ Steve Jobs

John: I had a chance to connect with Maryl Petreccia this week, and one of the first things I asked her was, what it joy? I respect and love that she is a go-to resiliency and joy expert, and I would love to bring more joy into my life. She said it was many things…developing our capacity to leveraging our hardest moments and cultivating and choosing joy after experiencing the heartache and loss, growing our ability to take on life's challenges and recognizing what we are made of in that process. Knowing ourselves that way can bring inner peace and trust that joy comes with that. She appeals to each of us that we take on being our own joy expert by mastering the skill or reframing and choosing the context of joy and gratitude for everything in our lives.

 For me, it means not being too high or low, understanding that my feelings are just that - nothing more, and that, essentially, our decisions can lead to more joy but it is not the other way around, at least not for a long-term fix. I love exercise, and I love to work out every day because it makes me feel better. Good decision equals joy. But I also love chocolate chip cookies and I can sit and eat them every day. However, I cannot out-workout a bad diet; in this instance, good decision (me love cookie) equals short term joy but long-term sadness (weight gain, tighter pants, scoffing wife). So sustainable joy involved developing good joy habits and which are brought on by good decisions and discipline. 

 Maryl, do you agree with the mantra easy choices hard life, hard choices easy life and do you think the latter makes more joy than the former?  

Maryl: ANSWER:  For me, mantras are designed to help and empower us. This mantra doesn’t do that. To be clear, it’s my view that joy and life as hard or easy aren’t correlative. We can find joy in any circumstance once we know how. As to easy choices, hard life, this is where “it’s all relative” applies. When I know what I value and my value system, I can make choices that reflect that value system. That may be a hard or easy choice. The details matter here. Hard or easy, joy is always available. If we make choices that are true to our values and what authentically brings us joy and happiness, then whether those choices are easy or hard becomes a mute point. 

I have been shy about doing Facebook lives (hard choice to be front & center at times.) Yet, as I share the concepts of my book, GPS to Joy, that speak to finding joy after loss and life altering, throw us on the ground, disruptions, I get great joy from giving the gift of finding direction and peace of mind to people when they are at their most vulnerable. The joy of meeting people where they are at and supporting them makes what’s hard easy.  

 John, what brings you joy no matter what? Living the answer to that question will keep your joy links strong and thriving. 

For more information about John’s work, connect with him here on LinkedIn.

For more information on Maryl Petreccia, please visit her website @ www.marylpetreccia.com