#PositiveVibes - On Point

By John R. Nocero & Nicole M. Palmer

The VIBE: Keeping on point means building upon trust and self-belief with the people that love you.

John: So to build off our recent post on Boomerangs, the people that come back into your life, what about those people who never left - those who stay? You can count on those people to lend you money, lend support, a helping hand and a sympathetic ear. My true inner circle now, is down to 3 people – one has been with me since about 2004, and the other two have been with me a little over a year. and my true inner circle is full.

I know, how can someone be in the inner circle if they haven’t known you that long? For me, it is a combination of two things – the first was changing one of my limiting beliefs. I used to believe that I was unworthy of love, so I would naturally attract those people who had a similar belief about themselves. Either I would project a fantasy onto them about how much they wanted to be in my life or I would be seeking validation from them, in order to get them to like me. As soon as I changed that belief about myself, poof, like Casper the friendly ghost, they were gone. They weren’t necessarily toxic per se, but they were negative, so to me I ended up just as negative as they were. That’s no way to go through life. The second way, is judging people’s actions not words. If you are saying that you are going to do something, then do it. Don’t tell me something and then let me down and then make an excuse about it – and don’t shoot down my dreams. That will take you from friend to acquaintance really quick. If the trust bond gets broken, I never go back. EVER. Once it breaks, either by choice or happenstance, it's over.

I love my inner circle now in a way that makes them feel free. I let them come and go as they please, and you know, they always come back. I'm always on point with them.

Nicole, what about your crew? The ones you are on point with? How did the trust develop?

Nicole: Always trust your gut. It will never let you down. I can read people very well. I know when I first meet them whether we are going to be lifelong friends, acquaintances es, or nice to meet you and I will be civil from here on out.

My true inner circle consists of 6 people. I love them all and we have been going strong anywhere from 15-20 years. I never say never John, because you never know. Once you are in the circle it’s very hard to get out. Once you’re out, you’re out for a reason. History repeats itself. What’s the saying, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. We trust each other because we have been through the ups and the downs, we’ve always been there for one another and we accept each other for who we are no matter what. We don’t judge. We give our honest feedback and it’s up to us whether we want to accept it or not. I’ve always been a non-judgmental person. I will accept you into my circle until you give me a reason to put you in a time out.

Have you ever started to build a bond with a person and one of your acquaintances will give you insider information about this person to persuade you to not be friends with them? My rule of thumb is, to accept them until they have personally done something to hurt you intentionally. Why should I judge someone based upon past experiences that didn’t involve or affect me? I think having this mindset, builds trust with this person, knowing that they are not being judged. Let’s be honest. We all have a past. We’ve all done things that we are not proud of. Should we be judged based upon that? I say, no. My motto this year, is only letting positive vibes in. C’ya negative vibes!

Please remember to like and share ;)