#PositiveVibes - In The Mirror

By John R. Nocero & Sandy Abell

John: Goke tells the story of an old Zen Master, Sengai. As he puts it “Many pupils were studying meditation under the Zen master Sengai. One of them used to arise at night, climb over thetemple wall, and go to town on a pleasure jaunt. Sengai, inspecting the dormitory quarters, found this pupil missing one night and also discovered the high stool he had used to scale the wall. Sengai removed the stool and stood there in its place. When the wanderer returned, not knowing that Sengai was the stool, he put his feet on the master’s head and jumped down into the grounds. Discovering what he had done, he was horrified. Sengai said: “It is chilly in the early morning. Be careful not to catch a cold.” The pupil never went out at night again.

It is funny how great people have come into my life when I have needed them the most. But maybe it is not so funny – they are there for a reason. My dearest friends are not only someone to laugh and share dreams with – they also hold me accountable. Essentially, they are mirrors and I spot my reflections in them. I know right from wrong – my mom and dad taught me at a young age. I always know. What I need to know is why I started doing it in the first place.

My best friends live by the examples they set and cause me to want to be more like them. No one can set a better example than living through actions rather than words. That is where I want to spot my reflection.

And isn’t it true that the right people seem to come into your life just when you need them? I’ve found that when I think about the positive, good things often appear. Of course, the opposite of that also happens. When I get negative, more negativity shows up.

Even though we are taught right from wrong, it doesn’t mean we will always make the right choice to follow what we were taught. My wife had surgery last week and has taken the day to drive to Pittsburgh and continue the healing process with her family. I will be left alone for the next week and it would be easy to make some self-destructive decisions, but I won’t because one, I will not disrespect her like that and two, I have a strong support system in place to help me if I even think of faltering in the slightest. I spot my reflection there.

Sandy: You’re sharing a lot of wisdom here John. Yes, I absolutely believe that what you focus on is what you’ll get. If you focus on the positive, more positive will come, and when you expect the worst, sure enough, you’ll get to be right. Then you can say, “I told you it wouldn’t work out!” You get to be miserable, but right.

Some people say that focusing on the positive is being unrealistic. When you focus on the good, they say you’re a Pollyanna, or ignoring reality. They fail to realize that their version of “reality” and yours might be different.

I believe that there is always a reason and purpose for whatever happens, and there is a gift in every situation. It might not be obvious at the time, but eventually it will appear. 

Isn’t it fun when you need some guidance, support, wisdom or knowledge and the right person just appears? They might be there for a long time, or just long enough to give you what you need. It’s so fascinating to note when this happens.

One important thing with all of this is to be sure you focus on the good in your life, and NOT the lack of it. When you spend your time thinking about all you would like, but do not yet have, you are focusing your energy on the lack, so that will perpetuate. Instead it’s a good idea to think happily about what you want, and then let the thought go, assuming that it will come to you when the time is right.

I’ve been amazed and excited by the wonderful things that have come to me once I think about it and then let the thought go.

Of course, all of this requires each of us to be aware of our thoughts, and control them as much as we can. Once you have power over your thoughts, you will have power over your life.