#PositiveVibes - Love You

By John R. Nocero

The VIBE: Our lives are puzzles. When we’re young, it’s easy to find new, fitting pieces. A lot of them are bright red. But the more your puzzle takes shape, the harder it is to find empty spaces where those red pieces still fit.

According to the McKays, "many men today think marriage is like a game of Russian roulette. If it goes wrong, it’ll wreck your life — emotionally, legally, financially. Better to steer clear of the altar altogether. This view basically sees marriage as Russian roulette — a game of pure chance, where you don’t have any idea what will happen when you pull the trigger. In reality, however, how a marriage turns out is almost entirely within your control.Before you get married, you can look for red flags in the relationship. You can ask friends and family for their honest opinion of your girlfriend. You can try to think about your compatibility outside the haze of chemical and hormonal attraction. You can choose a partner who shows a commitment to keeping herself up mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.After you get married, you can continue dating and having meaningful conversations. You can continue to pursue individual and shared interests. You can refuse to give up on taking new adventures together. If you do these things, you can stack your chances for a happy marriage in your favor, so that your risk of divorce is negligible."

Are Kelly and I perfect? Absolutely not. She have been together 15 years and I know now, that she still knocks my socks off, that I didn’t settle and I am still lucky to have her. We are celebrating our marriage this weekend and there is not a woman I love as much as her or will ever; That’s not Pollyanna, that is fact. We took our time and have changed together. Can I say what will happen tomorrow? No. But I am 100% certain that I can be the best husband I can be. Honor her. Be honest with her. Love her unconditionally. Keep the promise I kept to her the first time I said it. Do that and there is no need to pull the trigger.

 The older I get, the more I realize that the harder it is to work for love. And you have to work for it. You have to love yourself and live your life. Make time to be authentic, It’s very easy to lose this balance. To get lost in a co-dependent relationship. Or slip up when you have a good one. Or focus on work and have no love life at all. Our lives are puzzles. When we’re young, it’s easy to find new, fitting pieces. A lot of them are bright red. But the more your puzzle takes shape, the harder it is to find empty spaces where those red pieces still fit. You have to make room for them. Breathe. Look at the big picture. Because if you don’t, you might one day complete the puzzle, only to realize you forgot adding love. I’m glad I didn’t.

 Happy anniversary Kel. I love you.