#PositiveVibes - Do You Call?

By John R. Nocero and Sandy Abell

John: I was listening to the radio tonight when a report came over the air that said dating fraud is on the rise; that almost 200 million dollars have been scammed out of people who were looking for real love.

This is sad to me. Very sad. I remember when I was growing up how scared I was to even talk to a girl. I could never make a phone call. I was too shy.

Even with Kel - if she had never called me, I likely would not have called. I knew how much it hurt when someone did not call me back when I finally worked up the nerve to call. I could not imagine being in the dating world now. it would be too scary for a number of reasons.

Sandy, what do you make of this? Do people not call each other anymore?

Sandy: Interesting question John. Actually, I see two topics here.

One is that people are lonely, but don’t know how to connect with potential friends and partners. In the olden days we used to meet people as we went about our days. We got out of our houses, went to work, joined clubs, volunteered our time for worthy causes, went to places of worship, and in the process, met and talked with people. We could look each other in the eye, have a conversation, and get to know one another.

Today it seems that the art of conversation is disappearing. People email or text, and send emojis instead of sharing feelings. The reality is that you can’t really get to know someone through technology. It might be a good introduction, but until you actually see the whites of their eyes, you will not know who they really are.

Unfortunately, since people are no longer comfortable having a conversation, they avoid actually calling and talking.

Your other point is about confidence and self-esteem. Even if you know how to converse with someone, a lack of confidence might make you assume they won’t want to talk with you. If you have positive self-esteem, you’ll be able to take a deep breath, work with the lack of confidence, look people in the eye and introduce yourself. To reach out to others we each have to connect with ourselves first. Then we’ll have the courage to connect.