Boosting Positivity: Making Negatives Less Sticky in Daily Life
Imagine waking up to a beautiful morning: a nice breakfast, walking your dog first thing, nice weather, maybe even the bonus of seeing a few puppies.
But then, an aggressive dog lunges at your pet, causing a moment of panic and a less-than-helpful response from its owner.
What stands out most at the end of your day? Likely, it's that nasty dog overshadowing all the positives. Why does this happen?
This tendency is rooted in our brain's survival mechanisms. Neuropsychologists often say our brains are like Teflon for positives—letting them slide away easily—and Velcro for negatives—making them stick.
This can lead to a persistent focus on the negative, impacting our mood and relationships.
Studies suggest positive-to-negative ratios averaging about a 5:1 ratio—five positive experiences or interactions for every negative one—at the same level of emotional intensity help keep us feeling good.
Action Steps to Improve Your Positive-to-Negative Ratio
1. Notice Your Ratios: Start by being aware of how often you experience and express positives versus negatives. Track your interactions for a day or a week to get a clear picture.
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2. Be Thoughtful with Feedback: When giving critical feedback, consider your delivery. Ensure it is constructive rather than harsh.
3. Increase Positive Interactions: Make a conscious effort to give more compliments and acknowledge what’s working. Recognize efforts and successes in your team, family, and friends.
4. Highlight the Good: Regularly remind people (including yourself) of the positive things they do. This could be through verbal affirmations, thank-you notes, or public recognition.
5. Match Emotional Intensity: Ensure your positive feedback is as emotionally engaging as any criticism you might give.
6. Self-Compassion: Apply these principles to yourself. Be aware of self-critical thoughts and balance them with self-praise. Recognize your achievements and efforts.
Remember, our brains being wired to remember negatives more than positives isn't a character flaw; it's biology.
By consciously increasing the number of positive interactions and matching their emotional intensity to any negatives, you can create a more balanced, positive, and productive environment in all areas of your life.
Executive Assistant
8 个月Dr. Carrie Johansson Great post! The analogy of the brain being Teflon for positives and Velcro for negatives really resonates. I hadn't heard it before, but it perfectly captures the challenge of maintaining a positive outlook.
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8 个月Dr. Carrie Johansson I had no idea that I could do what your suggesting & I can’t wait to give it a try
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8 个月Brilliantly explained! The concept of the positive-to-negative ratio is something we all need to be more mindful of. Your suggestions on how to increase positive interactions and feedback are incredibly helpful.
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8 个月Negative thinking is a societal habit. Dr. Carrie Johansson, how can we respond when we suggest a positive interpretation and someone else shuts us down for being shallow?
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8 个月The idea of our brains being like Velcro for negatives and Teflon for positives is fascinating and so true. How do you suggest people start tracking their positive-to-negative interactions effectively without it becoming an overwhelming task?