Positive Post #33: Little Kids Always Give

You know how Facebook serves up photos from the past, when you least expect it? Yesterday I logged in and was given this sweet photo of my son, Michael, when he was about two years old, reaching out to me with a big old handful of worms. It's an awesome photo and I sent it to a few people.

One of them said, "Why is he trying to give them to you?!"

And I said, because that's what toddlers do. Anything they have, they want to show you or give you.

When I had two kids under 4 years of age, my pockets were always full of rocks, string, bits of plastic, dandelions, violets, and something that might have been petrified poop, but who knows.

It's not that toddlers never have their own pockets. It's that their whole entire world exists in relation to their parents, so they find something and the very next thing they do is stretch out their hand to show it off or give it away.

I wish adults were like that. Imagine if every time I found something cool, I was like, "Here! Look! You can have it!"

(Although I guess we are a lot like that about things we find online. We are like, "Ohh, someone posted a headline and I didn't bother to read the article, but HERE giant list of friends; Look! You can have it!")

For a toddler, the nearest loved one is their other set of eyes and brain. The grownup can declare the item beautiful or gross, or explain what it is and what to do with it next.

It's like when I find something and I peer at it and decide what to do. Except when you are two years old, you find something and have someone else look at it and decide what to do.

Come to think of it, I miss that, too. I miss being able to have someone else make a determination and set a course of action. I wonder if that's what some of us are going through now. Because there are different rules in different places, and different opinions on what is safe, we all have to peer at our circumstances and decide what to do. And it might be easier if there was someone there who could look around and say, "This is safe, but this will hurt you. Go play," and we could just trust them and go about our day. Instead we have conflicting messages and conflicting authorities and conflicting instincts, even among friends and family we trust and know to be ethical and caring.

I used to complain about finding so many rocks and plastic zoo animals in my pockets at the end of the day. But I really do miss it. My kids still show me things, or run things past me to gauge my reaction. But now they have entire bedrooms of their own where they can store their treasures. They have smartphones to record their memories and find answers to their questions.

It's not entirely gone, though. I was on a walk with my daughter today and she mentioned that she was still sad to have lost her Ranger Rock, which was a special polished rock a park ranger gave her when she was two years old.

Treasures are still treasures, even when you're old enough to drive. If you want to, share some treasure you still carry or keep track of from childhood. I still have my favorite stuffed animal, Teddy Bear Love. He's quite ragged and faded. I don't remember receiving him, just always having him. I do remember the summer I had a sleepover at camp, and determined that I should not take him with me. I gained some maturity that day, and lost a little comfort, too.

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