POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE?

There are many professional pontificators who like to preach about the power of a positive perspective.? I know because I’m one of them.? However, whether talking about perspective, authenticity, goals, or other issues, I also like to be honest.? Much of the advice out there is a bit too simple for my tastes, and that can be dangerous in practice.? Perspective provides a good example.?

Let’s start with the good stuff.? You face many challenges.? Sometimes the burden is heavy.? Your mentality becomes strained and slips into negative territory.? That’s normal.? It happens to all of us.? You remember what you know about the power of a positive perspective, so you admit you’re in need of a mental shift, stop over-focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, and choose to seek a silver lining.? On top of that you remember to count your blessings, and then wham!? You begin to shift back towards a more positive outlook.? Your emotions balance out.? Thinking becomes less murky.? You start to see a new path forward.? Success!

On average, over time, this process is very helpful – but not perfect.? Based on my experience, it simply doesn’t work about one third to one half of the time.? This might be due to personality issues, characteristics of the situation, or other factors. ?You try it once and still feel deflated.? You try again because you want to be diligent.? Doesn’t work.? You give it one more try and still feel stifled.? For whatever reason, doing the right thing isn’t working for you.? Now what do you do?? Try yet again?

No.? Instead, you must recognize that trying again may not be productive.? A change is needed.? Listen, when you’re trading individual stocks, you don’t keep all of them for the same amount of time.? You shift as needed to maximize the portfolio.? When executives strategically look at their array of ongoing projects, sometimes one or more must go, or at least be shelved for a time.? The same applies to cognitive tactics.? Occasionally, change is needed because they can hurt more than they help.? The problem is that we have strong behavioral inertia around trying to stay positive.? That is a good thing, until it’s not a good thing.

If finding a positive perspective isn’t working, but you keep banging your head against that wall, two things commonly happen.? First, for a short period of time, you become a problematic believer in positivity.? Let’s say you’re facing a horrible situation with your manager.? You two do not mix well.? You do not respect them.? They belittle you from time to time in front of others.? You know they are the reason you have been denied promotion multiple times.? But, as a follower of the positive paradigm, you tell yourself all will be well.? You think, “My time will come.”? “They won’t be my supervisor forever.”? “My work is great and will be recognized.”? “The future is still clearly bright.”? A positive perspective has morphed into delusion.? You’re now listening to a false narrative.

It is hard, however, to persistently act like you enjoy being in a bad situation.? What often emerges is a form of learned helplessness, a shift to the dark side.? You give up on feeble attempts to craft a positive view.? You let go of the delusion and replace it with something worse.? You say to yourself, “Clearly this is about me.? Maybe I’m the problem.”? You feel lots of frustration and anxiety.? You basically give up and accept your fate.? You start putting in the minimum amount of effort.? You feel bad about yourself.? Positivity feels like a fiction, or at a minimum, something you find outside of work but never in the office.? Even if you’re not sure if this is all your fault, you know it’s your fate.? That is a dark place to be professionally – and more common than you might think.?

Great – so how do you avoid these nasty outcomes?? It’s not always possible, but here is your best defense.? It starts with self-awareness.? You must stay focused on how you’re thinking and acting.? I’m referring to the meta-thinking you engage when you make time to regularly reflect and journal.? Be honest and think about your mood, key relationships, and productivity.? Ask yourself if you’re using positivity correctly or allowing its pursuit to cloud your thoughts.? Next, seek input from others.? A buddy, coach, supervisor, spouse, counselor, or best friend might hold a fresh perspective you need.? Suffering alone isn’t useful.? Maybe they can give you the missing idea that helps you find a legit positive perspective again.? Of course, if things remain difficult and you just can’t seem to enact change, you can leave and find a more hospitable place to work.?

For my part, I will continue to preach about the power of positive perspectives.? Finding a way to see the glass half full, and to help others see the same, is one of my superpowers.? It’s not a perfect endeavor, but when you realize that self-awareness and quality connections with others are also superpowers, you just might find the ability to come back to a productive use of positivity, or at least find the courage to go look elsewhere.? Good luck!

WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?

It’s official.? I’ve become a fan of the WNBA thanks to Caitlan Clark.? Please don’t hate.? Look, I’m not na?ve.? I know she’s imperfect, but her abilities on the court are phenomenal.? And just to keep this relevant, she often displays many leadership qualities I discuss in this newsletter.? For example, recently she received a technical foul for smashing her fist against the pads that cover the base of the basketball goal.? She was mad at herself and had a moment of frustration.? The referee said the act showed disrespect for the game.? What?? Nobody agreed, but it happened.? In the press conference after the game, Caitlan found a legit glass half full view of the situation.? Instead of saying something derogatory when asked about the technical, she thanked the referee and credited him with pushing her and the Indiana Fever team to focus and execute (paraphrasing).? Lemons into lemonade for #22.? If you enjoy basketball and have yet to sample what’s brewing in the WNBA, give it a look.? Caitlan and a host of other very talented players are elevating the ladies’ game.??

I think it’s useful to share that I still engage the silver lining game myself all the time.? If you’re trying anything challenging in life, it’s just necessary.? I received a kind note a few days ago from a reader who really enjoyed Dancing with Monsters.? It made me think about the overall reaction so far now that we’re about a year and a half post publishing.? It’s mixed.? One quarter to one third don’t get it.? They think it feels like a book for kids.? The rest love it and get every little thing I was trying to convey.? They won’t all love you and your work, so you better learn how to craft a positive perspective. ??

Speaking of which – my kids!? Pax just started his senior year at Rhodes College in Memphis, Tennessee.? He’s super busy and ready to engage his first real job search.? It is exciting and exhausting as I’m sure you remember.? Parker is starting his senior year in high school and about to start applying to colleges.? Our granddaughter, Haylee, just joined the Women of Power group at school.? They are a group of females who engage service projects in the community.? After clocking so many hours she will earn the group’s coveted pink jacket!? Grease is one of my favorite movies, so this makes me very happy.?

Happy Labor Day to all of you in the US.? It’s time for perfectly cooked brats with toppings galore!

Until next time – go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!

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My books:? https://tinyurl.com/yvwuvmaw

Me on stage:? https://bit.ly/3EfcDSb

Book me:? https://bit.ly/3WHeRB0 ?

All links in one place:? https://linktr.ee/drdewett .