Positive Mondays - The powerful question of religiosity.

All men's souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine - Socrates

I put on the TV, and pictures of the divisive forces surround us. It seems that the clashes on the basis gender, social classes & social causes on the rise.

Clashes between CEOs and their Boards continue to make headlines.

Political battles are being fought on the presumption that every day is Election Day. Conflict seems to be the order of the day. It seems like a world gone mad.

The one battle, which seems to raise the highest emotional pitch seems to be religion. The divisive borders seem to be thickening. May it be the people who represent religion in the form of saints and prophets. May it be the decibel and inappropriate levels of prayers. May it be the code and process of resolving marital discord.

Last week, the world witnessed a unique astral event. The solar eclipse. Astral events tend to be rather awe inspiring. A moment when the world paused to look up at the sky and witness an event perhaps unparalleled in its rarity.

In India, we just concluded the holy month of Shravan. Last week, Parsis celebrated Nowruz or the New Year.

There is an interesting legend. When the Parsis landed on the shores of Gujarat, the king Jadi (or Jadav) Rana denied them inhabitation. He demonstrated there was no space in his kingdom by filling a cup to the brim with milk. The Parsis added sugar to the milk signifying that they would blend into the community. If the Parsis had been turned away to find new shores, they would have flourished but Indian culture would have lost a valuable addition.

There is another interesting tradition around sugar. No celebration of success, religious rituals and family reunions are complete without the offering of sweets. The use of sugar resembles the values and maybe the purpose of our lives.

Then you had entire communities in India who came together to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi. Lord Ganesha came to our home.

Something interesting happened this year. I put the pictures on Facebook. Amongst the usual comments and likes, someone from the Western Hemisphere, with undoubted sincerity and genuine curiosity, asked how was I celebrating a Hindu festival, even though I was a Sikh. For a moment, I was wondering, why was that even a question?

That got me thinking again.

Religion is a deeply personal value, and prayer is rooted in a deeper belief system.

I have a particular interest in prayer and places of worship.

People congregate in places of worship for all kinds of reasons. Some visit with gratitude on their minds for a wish fulfilled. The birth of a child or to celebrate the life of a departed elder; the ending of unemployment or progress in careers; the fulfillment of a life dream or the overcoming of a short obstacle that life seems to keep putting in our way. Psychologists use the word, “gratitude” to describe this state or even emotion.

Some with a deep-seated anguish in the hearts seeking solace and a solution to the problem they find themselves in. An unemployment, an unforeseen sickness, an untimely bereavement, loss of property, an undue delay in a cherished project, a change in seemingly uncontrolled circumstances and some perceived injustice or the unfair roll of dice that sometimes life seems to bring about, an abrupt end to a cherished relationship. Psychologists call it, “resilience or an ability to persist on a task”. In trying times, many do pray for this unique gift.

Psychologists DN McInstosh, RC Silver and CB Wortman in their publication called Religion’s Role In Adjustment To A Negative Life Event; studied how couples who lost young infant babies reported better recovery because of the social support that they received and somehow they could derive meaning for themselves, even in death.

The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection - Michelangelo

What is the role that religion plays in our daily lives?

In the centuries gone by, places of worship as a confluence of breathtakingly beautiful art spanning domains were demonstrated by artists.

Art and religion:- The beautiful architecture of ancient temples in Konark, Florence, Paris and London are evidence. The paintings and murals in the Sistine Chappel and the caves of Ajanta and Ellora show the sublime skill of artists. You can visualise Michelangelo laboring for months chipping away at a slab of marble to bring David to life, which would become rallying points for art lovers centuries later. The intricate construction and the minute detailing with hammer and chisel are something that only leaves you with a sense of pride in your fellow human beings. The ingenuity as ambition that resulted in the imagination and fruition of statue of Christ the Redeemer evokes what psychologists call “joy” and even “awe" and "inspiration”.

Music and festivities:- Music and festivals of music, where the soul stirring strains of the 10th-century equivalents of the contemporary MS Subbulakshmi and Bhimsen Joshi would hold people in their thrall. Apparently, dance forms in Thailand and many parts of India have some origins in temples. Gospel music in churches have a unique hold on their parishioners. The chanting of ancient texts handed down since hundreds of years is a testimony to the progress that humans have made. Their penmanship manifested through songs & poetry were written by the masters of the day. Each word would have been crafted to perfection, through layers of diligent scrutiny and iterations and then with great labour transmitted through the tests of time.

Education and exposure to religion:- Some love visiting places of worship to learn something new, and immerse themselves in a new culture and to “savour” the artistic beauty and immerse themselves in a culture of centuries. Some go on a routine; which gives them a sense of self-control. Prayer is one such routine. Over a period of time, you learn the meaning, purpose, and intent behind they prayers. The nuances and layers begin to unfurl in front of you.

Social relationships & religion:- Some gain a sense of community and social relationships, while participating in ceremonies, which originated centuries ago. Many people love the sense of community-related to a place of worship. It could be the sharing of food and sweets. It could be the sense of charity or an opportunity to perform an unconditional act of kindness. A sense of humility of sharing a moment with elders and friends.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato

Variety of prayer

Dr Sonja Lyubomirksy, in her works, talks about a fascinating paper by MM Polomo and GJ Gallup jr; called Variety of Prayer. The researchers found various types of prayers.

-Colloquial prayer is where you have a conversation with God, where you ask for guidance, blessings or just forgiveness.

-Petitionary prayers are those where you are asking for something, it is more concrete.

-Ritual Prayer is one where you say something which has been prepared.

Colloquial, Petitionary and Ritual prayers are what the authors call one-way conversations.

Then there is Meditative Prayer, a prayer which is not a conversation, but as the authors call it, being in the presence in the feeling of God, or “being still and knowing that God is God”. Perhaps if not a form of God, then just a higher force.

What was interesting is that Petitionary prayer was not correlated to any quality of life indices. Therefore if you are asking for something, you might want to consider your petition.

Scientists found that meditative prayer, or those who prayed just to be in the presence of a higher being were more happier than those who were asking for relief, forgiveness or from a ritual.

Autonomy and religiosity:- The scientists also found that those who were praying out of only a ritual were more likely to be lonely and sad.

If you are forcing a ritual on someone, it is my wild guess, you are turning the person away. Maybe explaining the context of a ritual, instead of a terse, because I am telling you to, might work better.

After all, there are so many stories that can hold one's own interest. This might work even better on children. I do not have access to any scientific data, at this point, but I would venture to guess that practicing of rituals out of fear and instruction might lead to a perceived loss of control over what a person would like to do. That might be an interesting insight for you.

Then there is even more fascinating meta-research by WC Compton called 'Religion, Spirituality and Well-Being'. They suggest that people who pursue religion as a way of life or when they find meaning in the life of community rather than just a means to an end seem to report higher satisfaction in their life. Of all acts of man repentance is the most divine.

The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none -Thomas Carlyle

Do you need to go to a place of worship?

There is another interesting research which established that people who undertook self prayer, regardless of the fact whether they went to church or not, both showed a higher sense of purpose than both church goers and non church-goers. So you need not go to a place of worship, science now establishes the fact.

Religiosity and positive emotions:-

Therefore I guess, I can offer to you a perspective that religiosity can be a source of immense positivity. If we can look at religion as a space of showing heartfelt gratitude, performing unconditional acts of kindness and building profound social connections, we might increase the wellbeing of neighbourhoods, communities, and even societies.

If we can reflect on religion as a space created for people to come together and provide assistance at the time of need, give strength and seek or grant forgiveness from each other for the transgressions that others might have committed or been subjected to.

We just might increase compassion in the world, if we practice religion from a platform of personal meaning and a belief in a God or a higher being and her infinite wisdom and omnipresence, rather than a social comparison. Gaining a perspective by invoking our curiosity and learning from the myriad humanities that surround us, will help us become more mindful.

Everything that positivity studies; Gratitude, Kindness, Awe, Inspiration, Joy, Curiosity & Creativity, Empathy, Civility, Social connectedness, Self Image, Mindful. Compassion can be delivered by what Dr Barbara Fredrickson calls the supreme emotion, Love, and maybe at some level, I propose to you that religiosity could bring the same benefits and become a supreme emotion. Religion when offered with love, gratitude, compassion, civility, empathy and meaning, kindness makes a potent dose of positivity.

The Law of Divine Compensation posits that this is a self-organizing and self-correcting universe: the embryo becomes a baby, the bud becomes a blossom, the acorn becomes an oak tree. Clearly, there is some invisible force that is moving every aspect of reality to its next best expression - Marianne Williamson

Everyday holiness:-

Dr Lyubomirsky leaves us with a very profound thought. You can find religion, spirituality, a higher being or a common God and her unconditional presence, in our everyday lives. When we look at nature, we can find a higher being. We can find the holiness in our three daily meals, and a glass of fine Kir Royale and a perfectly brewed espresso. The timely touch and smile of a loved one is certainly divine. When we reflect on how better our lives have become, thanks to the contribution of thousands of people around us, we can see a pattern and a meaning to life. When we in our own little way can make a huge difference to someone’s life, then, we are acting in a way true to our beliefs. If we can grow as human beings standing on the shoulders of the giants who walked before us, and share the bounty, that life has granted us and if we have the wherewithal to make decisions for ourselves then I venture out on a limb and wildly guess, that you are in the midst of something spiritual.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. - William James

The Positivity Offset - there is more to smile about

Soon the world will have 8,000,000,000 inhabitants. I would wager that even if a few thousand people take the path against humanity, the balance 7,999,999,000 through their acts of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness; and forge the path to a greater humanity. In the darkest moments of the history, when the very essence of humanity was threatened by a handful, the world united as one, to build institutions of justice, moral codes and cooperation.

The more a man can forget, the greater the number of metamorphoses which his life can undergo; the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes. -Soren Kierkegaard

The question that I have myself is this. Where can I find the spiritual in the small moments of my daily life? If this question is too easy for you, then you might want to answer the question, how are the challenges that you faced last week, a part of a higher “scheme” of things?

The author is the Founder of The Positivity Company. This is part of a series called 'Positive Mondays' which describes how positivity has a multiplicative effect, simultaneously impacting all work and life outcomes. Birender can be reached on [email protected] or on Twitter at B_Ahluwalia