PORTRAIT OF A CONFIDANT: 5 THINGS TO CONSIDER

We all are faced with issues that are very personal to us and often time they seem to overwhelm us. This has made the need for trusted relationships very vital in pulling through difficult times. There's a lot of data to share on the rising number of depression cases been treated today and the soaring number of avoidable suicides. There are also times when we are enthused by great ideas and possibilities of doing noble things but there isn't just someone around to listen to us objectively to the rising hopes within us.

Notwithstanding the importance of a close ally, we are admonished in Micah 7:5-6 to be careful of relying on people. We are even admonished to keep things away from those that may naturally qualify as our confidants. Such is the time that we live in. A time where wives betray husbands; fathers molest daughters; brothers defile sisters and girls disregard virtues. Who then is qualified to share in the deepest thoughts of ones heart? Who is qualified to stand as an advisor when counsel is greatly desired?

A confidant is a person with whom one can share a private matter. There are many biblical examples that abound to this end. One of such is Delilah, the wife of Samson. She concluded that there wasn't true love between them simply because he won't confide in her as to what the secrets of his powers are. A confidant is one with whom you do not hold back your secrets trusting that they won't share it with others. Such was not the case of Delilah as she was out to share the information to the enemies of her spouse, Samson. The status of a confidant is not open to all. It is a position of honour in any human relationship. Jesus said to his disciples that he cannot refer to them as servants because he has shared his conversations with God with them, hence they are his friends.

A confidant helps to pursue purpose. The relationship between David and Jonathan was so strong that both men knew the future of Israel lay in their hands and not Saul. They agreed to trust and support each other in the pursuit of purpose - Gods divine agenda. Jonathan revealed to David the plot to have him killed by King Saul. A confidant is one who shares information with you that will aid the fulfilment of your purpose in life. They don't hide valuable information from you. The information they share helps you to either take advantage of opportunities or guard yourself from impending danger. A confidant is a trusted partner in the realisation of worthy ideals and noble aspirations. He is a person that helps to keep focus on results. He is a person that can help forge a plan towards success.

Having said these, we have two cases that helps to understand that a confidant doesn't necessarily have to be connected to you by blood. He also doesn't have to be a person with whom you share deep emotional affection. Seeing that a confidant is one with whom you share plans and aspirations, it is important to know the person that fits this status. The story of Abraham can be a case in point. God had a plan to destroy Sodom but He said the plan cannot be hatched without Abrahams knowledge. This to me is the epitome of the expression of a confidant.

What then was the reason behind the choice of Abraham as God's confidant? The answers to this question found from Genesis 18:17-19 serves as a guide to the portrait of a confidant.

1. Potential to be Great. Never confide in anyone who has not shown signs of pursuing noble and noteworthy things. Those with whom you can share plans and purposes with are those that have demonstrated the ability to be distinguished in their endeavours.
2. Potential to Add Value to Others. Value driven people are honorable people. Abraham was going to be a blessing to the entire world. This heritage made him a confidant of God. Anyone who is embarking on a venture that adds value to others is fit to confide in. These kinds of persons carry a burden to solve problems and improve the dignity of humanity.
3. An exemplary Personality. A person that is worth imitating qualifies to be a confidant. He is a desirable influencer of sort to others. Abraham had this kind of reputation. His ways were admired and replicated. He was a representation of the kind of person that should lead nations and negotiate liberties.
4. A Principled Personality. Abraham had the reputation of being able to direct his family in the way they should go. A man that does not guide his affairs by a code of conduct is not worthy to be a confidant. He will likely fall to moral relativism and situational ethics. A confidant is not one given to evil schemes. He is to live excellently because he knows that the person who cuts corners will never be on the road to greatness.
5. A result-driven Personality. Abraham's lifestyle was such that will get the promises of God realised in his life and beyond him. God had a plan for the nation of Israel and He knew that Abraham could serve as the anchor to the realisation of that plan. This was enough to make him a confidant of God. He doesn't constitute himself as a stumbling block to success. It is said of him that "... he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him."

These five elements serve as a guide to help determine the person that you can share your plans with.

OAO