That Poor Little Leaguer (Feedback Overload)

I went to go get some food for my wife and I at a very popular place where a lot of baseball teams go after they play. What I witnessed at the counter was a father giving his son some feedback on the game that was just played. As I sat a couple seats away, I quietly listened, not letting them know I was listening. The father began to tell his son he could not make the mistakes he was making during the game. He was mentioning things like striking out or dropping fly balls, which are really physical errors, not mental errors.

As I sat there and I listened uncomfortably, I realized not once did this dad tell his son, I'm proud of you or you're doing a great job. You're gonna get so much better. Trust your coaches. What I did hear was him depict inning by inning, the mistakes his son made. As I watched his son who just stared ahead and never made eye contact with his dad. As they sat parallel from each other at a counter, the kid was never smiling, never really seeming to enjoy the conversation. When the waitress came up and gave them their food to go and they got up to leave immediately. The son had a smile on his face. I think the smile came from the fact that the conversation was now over. What's going to happen to this kid if he continues to get feedback like that and he enters the workplace? What if his boss gives him really good feedback that's accurate, albeit constructive, will he listen? Or will he shut down much like what he was doing or at least appearing to do with his father?

Feedback is something that we learn to accept or not accept. I'm not sure where this young man is at, but he was a frail skinny kid who I bet would love to be out there playing baseball to the best of his ability. I think his dad probably had the best intentions, but the worst part about it was watching this kid's reaction with every single piece of constructive feedback. I counted 11 sets of constructive feedback, and I did not hear or count one positive set of feedback.

Now what happens to this kid is he enters the workplace years from now. Will he seek feedback or will he run from it? Will he accept feedback or dismiss it because of disagreement? Will he shut down from the feedback because it triggers an emotion of not caring?

Feedback is a tool to build people up or tear them down. If we use a ratio of 3:1 for positive to constructive feedback things will change. People will become more accepting of feedback as strength-based feedback builds momentum in the relationship as well as opens the door for people to be more accepting of constructive feedback because they trust it due to positive feedback building trust.

We inherit people's histories and even former bosses when they enter our workplace. What is their relationship with feedback? D0o they seek it for personal and professional growth? Are they accepting of feedback even when in disagreement.

Let's invest in the good things people will do! We will always get to the areas of needed improvement but lets wait and build up momentum!

Here is our Podcast Episode on this article: https://www.buzzsprout.com/705024/10893272