Poor Fellow Syndrome

“The poor fellow had never been cut out to be a villain.” and while T.H. White said this in his book The Once and Future King its something that has been said since centuries across generations in all our stories.

This “Poor fellow” syndrome (Bechara in Hindi) has impacted our lives more than any pandemic. Every story has a poor fellow hero and a villain. From the banishment of Lord Rama to Cinderella and the Avengers it’s the poor fellow that rises from the ashes and there has to be someone we can blame that got them there.

I have seen this poor fellow syndrome even at work every day. To be Honest, have used it myself and realized only when it got called out by my then Boss. I did go to my client at the end of the quarter and beg him to confirm the order or I would lose my job (bechari !) and obviously made my Boss the villain in the story cause there has to be an oppressor.

Pause and think, in every information we consume we are constantly searching for the poor fellow and once we find him/ her the other one automatically becomes the villain.

In a relationship, in a friendship every break up has a poor fellow and a villain. In work situations behind every promotion, hiring and layoff there is a poor fellow who didn’t get it and then a villain (nepotism!) who was responsible for the anguish.

In fact, if u don’t succumb to the poor fellow syndrome you will be the villain in many a story.

I just think its time we change the narrative cause the poor fellow is causing more anguish, depression and mental health issues than what the so called villain does. If you saw the movie Joker you get what I am saying.

 I would rather tell my kids (actually now even grand kids!) the story of how your choices in every situation will lead to results and you and only you are accountable for these. You are the poor fellow and the villain packaged in one so be careful who you let win through your decisions.

We certainly need more accountability and optimism in our world instead of poor fellow, hate and blame that’s killing us more than corona virus ever will.

Apologies if I burst the Poor fellow syndrome bubble for few through this article but then am used to being a villain in many a story !!

“There are only three types of citizenship: hero, villain, nobody.” said Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity.