Pooh & Piglet Go Panic Buying

"Where are we going Piglet?" asked Pooh.

"We need to get supplies," said Piglet. "For the Coronavirus"

"Ahh," said Pooh, nodding in understanding. "Things like bread, milk, cough mixture, tissues and cat litter even though we don't have a cat?"

Piglet did a little laugh, and a sort of leap and bit of a cough. "No," said Piglet. "No, those aren't the sort of supplies we need at all! What we need are family sized bags of chocolate buttons, massive toblerone, jelly babies and crunchies and a freezer full of stuffed crust pizzas, and all of the Prosecco that we can possibly carry, so that when we get quarantined we won't mind it even slightly. THOSE are supplies."

All of a sudden, Pooh thought that the idea of coronavirus didn't seem quite so bad, and actually, getting quarantined with Piglet and their supplies really didn't sound such a terrible thing after all. "Oh Piglet," said Pooh. "I really do think you are a very wise animal."

As they walked along they spotted Eeyore stood by a stream watching the sticks float by..... 

“Hello Eeyore.” Said Pooh, “we’re off to buy supplies to sit out the quarantine, would you like to come?” 

“No thank you.” Said Eeyore “I’m just going to stand here, look at the stream and contemplate the Economic impact of a media induced panic that several companies are projecting folding straight out of Brexit. Also the NHS being brought to its knees by a huge panic, and the social impact of people distrusting others because they look or are associated with China. People are dumb.” 

“Well that’s sad.” Said Pooh “I much prefer getting shitfaced and eating Pizza.” 

“The ironic thing.” Smiled Eeyore is that Panic induces the Stress Response, and the first thing the stress response does is switch off the immune system.” 

“Huh.” Said Pooh. “why would the media do that.” 

“I don’t know.” Said Eeyore “I just watch sticks.”

Credit - Karen Joy Grey