Politeness Lost: ChatGPT and the curious case of the unthanked bus driver

I spend a lot of time travelling for the football. This has taught me that you can judge an area and the character of its people by whether they thank the bus driver or not. My research has been hampered with the advent of buses that let you off in the middle but I've got enough evidence for a lifetime.

Is my cherished British politeness under threat and will ChatGPT hammer the final nail into the coffin?

Now, before the shouts of 'OK Boomer' die down, I'll put it out there - is our youth is becoming as brusque as a tube full of commuters? I say a definite maybe and furthermore I suspect it's because they're spending too much time demanding answers from ChatGPT without so much as a "please" or "thank you."

Remember when manners were the bread and butter of our society? When a simple "cheers" could melt event the most miserable bus driver's heart?

I found myself on a bus in a Northern town on the way to a game. The local youth were out in force. Not one of them made eye contact with the driver, let alone uttered a word of gratitude upon alighting. They were glued to their smartphones probably instructing ChatGPT to do their homework or compose a social media takedown. Worse still, they could have been writing a LinkedIn article.

The problem is that ChatGPT doesn't require niceties. You don't need to butter it up with pleasantries or sandwich your requests between "could you kindly" and "much appreciated." You just type what you want, and get your answer.

But what happens when this behaviour spills over into real life? Today we're commanding ChatGPT, tomorrow we're barking orders at baristas without so much as a "ta." Before we know it, the quintessentially British queue will descend into a scrum worthy of an American theme park 'line'.

Perhaps we should teach ChatGPT some manners—or at least how to demand them. Imagine if it refused to comply unless addressed properly:

User: "Define photosynthesis."

ChatGPT: "What's the magic word?"

User: "Define photosynthesis, please."

ChatGPT: "With pleasure. Photosynthesis is..."

A few exasperated sighs and the occasional device being hurled out the window is a small price to pay to protect one of the foundations of British society. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.

We could launch a national campaign: "Mind Your Ps and Qs—Technology Isn't an Excuse!" We could have posters, catchy jingles, maybe even rope in the town crier. "Oyez, oyez! Remember to thank your bus driver and be polite to your AI!"

Politeness is the oil that keeps the gears of society running smoothly. It's the difference between a community and a collection of people who merely tolerate each other's existence. Let's not let our interactions with AI strip us of our basic decency.

Next time you use ChatGPT, why not throw in a "please" or "thank you"? Sure, it won't blush or beam with pride, but it might help you maintain the habit. And when you step off the bus, take a moment to thank the driver. You never know, you might just make their day - or at least prevent them from muttering under their breath about "today's youth" as they pull away.

As they said on the Titanic (Captained by a chap from Stoke-on-Trent), "Be British".