Polish Hospitality: A Guest in the House is God in the House

Hearing a story from a Polish friend of mine who, when visiting his German branch of the family for the first time, suffered an involuntary phase of fasting, I decided to make it the topic of this short article. 

Being offered lunch and beverages after traveling, our guest from Poland politely declined, used to the widespread Polish custom of being offered food or drink several times, before a no would be taken as a no. From the German side, I imagine, the issue was treated rather in a factual way, looking for a yes or no as an answer. Possibly also accompanied by the respect for the individual's choice and not wanting to be pushy. 

Having lived for more than 10 years outside of Germany and with my second home base in Poland, I would like to show some aspects of Polish hospitality, which I enjoyed (and still enjoy) very much:

As always with cultural topics, traditions are constantly changing and evolving. This especially in transition countries experiencing a change in economic and social systems and increased influences from other cultures. Modern life is accelerating, leaving less time for traditional socializing and family gatherings. This also can be felt in Poland. However, especially in rural areas, where traditions are deep-rooted and maintained with pride, as well as at family celebrations like birthdays, name days, anniversaries and at religious holidays, you can be witness of the warm and heartfelt atmosphere of a Polish feast. By the way, there should be no worries about this custom dying out, since the Polish are inherently creative to find an excuse for eating, drinking and celebrating together.

Being invited home is a sign of trust and an important part of the relationship building process for a foreigner, no matter if private or business. In order to be able to fully enjoy an evening at your host’s home, here some rules of conduct to consider:

Punctuality is the politeness of kings. 

Dresscode:

• No general rule. This might depend on your industry and seniority. Your dress level will reflect your appreciation of the host. In case of doubt, better overdress with options to dress down later the evening. 
• Be prepared to take off your shoes and being offered a pair of slippers when
• entering your host's home. 

Gifts:

• Any odd number of unwrapped flowers for the hostess (avoid red roses, white lilies or yellow chrysanthemums, they are culturally reserved for other occasions).
• Alcohol or chocolates characteristic for your home country - or - a bottle of good wine.
• A short comment about your gift will be considered as appreciating the host, and also serving as a good icebreaker, but talking too much about it might oblige the host to open it at once in honor of the guests.

Behavior:

• Shake hands individually, but do not shake hands over a threshold.
• This is considered bad luck. Also, the tradition of hand-kiss towards women is popular among the older generation and for formal contexts. As a foreigner, if not customary in your own culture, this could be taken as a mocking imitation.
• Do not ask for a tour around the house. If your hosts wants to show you around, he will take initiative.
• Come with an empty stomach. It is Polish tradition to pamper guests with quality food in abundant quantities. Also be aware, that it's a sign of attention and honor for the guest to be invited several times to have more food or drink. 
• Complementing on food or the host's liquor collection can cut both ways. On one hand your host will feel honored, on the other hand he might feel compelled to open his best vintage bottle of wine for you and refill your plate generously.
• Beer and wine are common in Poland. Vodka is popular, served in small glasses meant to drink in one gulp. The host often opens the table with a toast, which should be returned by a toast of gratitude, friendship and good wishes. Depending on language barriers, a simple "na zdrowie" (to health) will also suffice.
• If you would like to stem the flow of alcoholic beverages or come to the evening's conclusion, a polite way of showing your host is asking for coffee.
• Before parting, you might receive the special honor of being served a rozchodniaczek, a parting drink, often a self-made fruit liqueur.

Communication:

• An invitation home is a sign of closeness and trust, so be open and tolerant. Ask questions about customs you are not familiar with. Your host will be more than happy to introduce you to Polish traditions.
• Normally the salutation Mr./Mrs. + Last Name or Mr./Mrs. + Title is for very formal occasions or meeting the first time. In a semi-private context the address Pan(Mr.)/Pani(Mrs.) + First Name should be adequate.

Icebreakers and discussion topics:

• The Polish are proud of their country and this with good reason. Authentic positive relations about your sightseeing experience is a welcome subject and shows your interest in the culture. Ask your host for recommendations.
•  If you have a genuine interest in those, famous Polish are Mikolaj Kopernik (Nicolaus Copernicus), Marie (Sklodowska) Curie, Pope John Paul II, Frederic Chopin and Adam Mickiewicz, who are internationally known.
• In recent years (internationally not yet as famous) Polish athletes have been medaled in the Olympic games and recognized in ski jumping, volleyball and football (If you are German, the last topic might result in a heated discussion about the composition of the German team...)
• Avoid deep religious, political topics (with exception of Pope John Paul II, revered throughout Poland, not depending on religious belief). Even if your host is criticizing political movements, try not to judge.
• The Polish see themselves as (and are) Central Europeans, not Russians. Perceived similarities to Russia will not be appreciated.
• Polish cuisine is rich, be sure to express interest and compliment the hostess for her cooking skills (which will result in a second helping...).
• Try to taste a bit of everything. 

Personal and business relationships in Poland are not as strongly separated as in some other Western countries. Be open and curious, relax and enjoy the evening. Being invited to a Polish home will always be a memorable experience, which is not going to change any time soon.

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Grocery Retail in CEE: Poland - Quo Vadis? 

Discounter store concepts: Efficiency vs. Emotion?

CEE Leadership & Management: 

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Which Company to Work for? Retail Anthropology 

CEE Culture & Consumer:

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Polish Hospitality: A Guest in the House is God in the House