The point of no return

You will know it when it happens to you - when you reach "the point of no return". When you realise that you've had enough. If you stay where you are and make no changes you can expect more of the same. It's when you have to move forward, because whatever the consequences and however painful it feels, there really is no going back and you know things will never be the same. 

That's "irretrievable breakdown of marriage" - the only ground upon which you can divorce. You then have to prove one of 5 facts: adultery (not yours), unreasonable behaviour (also not yours), 2 years separation with consent, 2 years desertion or 5 years separation. 

There really is no "quickie divorce". The timescale is usually the same once you establish the relevant fact- approximately 4-6 months. There are exceptions to every rule - a 24 hour hour divorce has been done!

It's a real shame we still have to cast blame when we all know there are usually 2 sides to every story. The divorce laws in England and Wales, now over 40 years old, are well out of touch with modern family life. Family lawyers are actively campaigning for "no fault divorce" - we want to ditch "adultery" and "behaviour" and instead introduce divorce based on one year of separation. However, until that day arrives, it's important to comply with the law and get the paperwork right. The Government is reluctant to ease the divorce process for fear it might encourage more married couples to separate and divorce. Those of you who have experienced "the point of no return" would disagree.

Despite having to work within the constraints of the existing law, good family lawyers have developed new and better ways of resolving all the important issues arising on separation including arrangements for your children and sorting out your finances - money, property, pensions, business. You really can divorce decently. It's how you choose to deal with it that counts. Choosing the right lawyer can make all the difference too. Family lawyers who are members of Resolution are committed to resolving disputes in an amicable and constructive way to help you meet the needs of you and your family without having to go to court.

If this happens to you, remember there is life after divorce. No one ever died from separation. It might even become the best thing that ever happened to you, as it frees you from an unhappy state of affairs.

So who do you tell, where do you go and what do you do? Have a consultation with a specialist family lawyer at an early stage. Call for a "what if" conversation. What if I decide it's over? What if I leave? What if I have reached "the point of no return".