The Plight of an Unintentional Hypocrite

This week started out great, but today I woke up feeling like a hypocrite.

It wasn't one of those feelings that comes out of doing something so drastically wrong, rather one that came from perspective.

Allow me to explain.

This week Jobscan came out with their list of the 'Top 25 Job Search Experts to Follow on LinkedIn in 2022.' I was on that list.

Startled, but grateful, I revelled in the accomplishment. I found I started bringing it up in conversation more than I have any other accomplishment the past year. Even though I tried to consciously downplay it, subconsciously I was clearly jumping up and down.

This would be completely understandable, and in many cases still is, except that I don't feel that way anymore.

I don't feel that way after a hard dose of repressed reality smacked me on the face on Friday.

During my Job Connection Tuesday Collective Office Hours(quite a mouthful, I know) one of my co-hosts and trusted friends brought something up in conversation I had completely forgotten about.

She reminded me that last year at this time the Top Experts to Follow in 2021 came out and I was not on the list. Not only was I not on the list, but when people started posting in comments suggesting I was someone to watch, I actively chose to create a post asking people not to mention my name. I pushed away from the need for acknowledgment or public accolades and did not want to talk to anyone about it. The truth was, I was simply hurt and feeling unseen.

Yet, the moment she called it out, I realized I had either repressed this memory or was so overjoyed that I did not take pause to remember.

Not only did I feel like a hypocrite, I also felt like a bad friend.

I felt like a bad friend because while I was celebrating, someone very close to me was left off the list after working her tail off the last year. She left me a voice note venting, because she knew I would understand and as I listened, I heard many of the same things I felt last year.

It destroyed me knowing how hard this person worked. I saw first hand how she invented and reinvented, trying every tactic to attract clients and an audience...hoping the effort would not be in vein.

While by all accounts her efforts were seen and appreciated...she did not wind up on that list.

This is the uncomfortable truth about the LinkedIn Community. Every person, every coach, every recruiter, every resume writer that creates content, that puts themselves out there is putting a piece of themselves out there.

They want to be the absolute best they can be. Are they doing it because they want to make money? Sure. But that is only a small part of it. They do it because they love it. They do it because(most of them) are genuinely empathetic to what job seekers, entrepreneurs etc are going through.

They develop a system, a curriculum, materials, pitches, content strategy and seminars. They put themselves out there on videos and ads. They go live spending a ton of unpaid time building a client base and often spend thousands upon thousands of dollars doing this before they make their first dime.

If this sounds familiar, it should. There is a direct comparison to what job seekers go through and coaches. The time, energy and money...it is all comparable. The main difference is that job seekers rejection is when they do not get the job, when they see people post, 'I am happy to announce I have accepted a position,' knowing that it could have been them... When coaches and other career professional's get rejected it is by virtue of a lack of clients or at times, a lack of acknowledgement.

In circling this back, I am not in any way faulting Jobscan. It is incredibly tough to pick out 25 and frankly, I have no idea how they go about making the determination that they do. It seemed at least to me that there was a combination of up and coming experts that have just started to really establish themselves(myself included) and those that have been in the profession a long time and can be considered some of the top in the world at what they do.(Hi Erin Kennedy and others!)

This leaves so many deserving people. Which is why I made a point of acknowledging them in the comments of Jobscan's post...Except, this is where I made my mistake. This is where I became an unintentional hypocrite. In that moment of acceptance, in that moment of acknowledgement I did not pause to think about whether or not me recognizing those individuals was more compliment or more salt in the wound. This time last year, when people mentioned my name in the comments, it felt like I was floating in the Dead Sea with an open wound.

'In that moment of acceptance, in that moment of acknowledgement, I did not pause to think about whether or not me recognizing those individuals was more compliment, or more salt in the wound.'        

The thing I keep asking myself is, 'what lesson can be learned from this?' I haven't been able to come to a clear conclusion. I refuse to fault myself my instant reaction in a moment I absolutely deserved. In the past I would have said, I needed to pause and think, but that would not have been raw or real.

I could have realized in the moment's after and went back and edited my comment, but that could have been perceived as an even more egregious offense...a redaction of genuine and heartfelt compliments.

Perhaps, the best thing we can do is realize that this is a part of life. That each of us will have our own day in the sun. Perhaps we have to remember that for every down, there will be an up and for every Peet's Coffee, there will be a pot of Black Rifle ??.

If we choose that option then we are acknowledging that there will be moments of disappointment we will each have to endure. Moments we have to check ourselves and pull ourselves out of bed.

These are the times, we have to remember that we can only do what we can do. Then, we need to give ourselves grace.

Nobody is perfect and Nobody should feel the need to be.