Please (pretty please) Don't "WE" Me to Tears

The Power of “I” in Interviews: Why Taking Ownership Matters

I've lost count of how many times I've had to stop a candidate mid-interview to redirect them. It’s not that they’re talking about the wrong things - they’re sharing great stories about projects, skills, and results. But here’s the problem: they’re framing their answers in a way that makes it impossible for me to see them and their contributions.

In their effort to show they’re a team player, they lean on “we.” They say, “We built this. We solved that. We achieved this goal.” And while teamwork is valuable, I’m not hiring “we.” I’m hiring you.

So let’s reset. Tell me what you did. Were you the person who drove the project forward, contributed meaningfully, and delivered results? Or were you just along for the ride, lucky to be part of a great team? Unless you explain your specific role, I have no way of knowing.

When you prepare for an interview, remember this: it’s not arrogant to say “I.” It’s necessary. Take ownership of your actions and results. That’s how I’ll know if you’re the person I need.

The Hiring Equation: Why It’s About You, Not the Team

When hiring managers sit down with you, they’re not evaluating your entire team - they’re evaluating you. They want to know what you can bring to the table, how you solve problems, and how you can help the organization succeed. While it’s essential to acknowledge collaboration and teamwork, using “we” too frequently can obscure your unique contributions.

Saying “we launched a successful product” doesn’t tell the hiring manager much about your role in that success. Did you lead the strategy? Design the product? Handle the marketing? Or were you part of the process but not driving it? Ambiguity doesn’t inspire confidence, and as a candidate, your goal is to leave no doubt about the value you bring.

Why “I” Isn’t Arrogance, It’s Clarity

Some candidates shy away from “I” because they fear coming across as egotistical, sometimes culturally I is frowned upon (and I understand that). But here’s the truth: Hiring managers want to hear about what you did. They’re looking for clarity and ownership, not humility that clouds your achievements.

When you say, “I developed a new marketing strategy that increased customer retention by 25%,” it gives the hiring manager a clear picture of your capabilities. Compare that to, “We increased customer retention by 25%.” The latter leaves the hiring manager wondering: What part did you play in that? Were you leading, executing, or just supporting?

Taking ownership doesn’t mean you ignore teamwork - it means you’re precise about your contributions within the team. You can say, “As part of a larger team effort, I was responsible for crafting the campaign messaging and overseeing the execution, which led to a 25% retention increase.” This approach balances individual ownership with respect for the team dynamic.

The Benefits of Using “I”

Demonstrates Accountability

Employers want to hire people who take responsibility for their work. When you use “I,” it shows that you understand your role in the outcome and are willing to be accountable for both successes and failures.

Clarifies Your Skills

Hiring managers are trying to assess your specific strengths. By framing your answers with “I,” you make it easier for them to see what you excel at - whether it’s problem-solving, leadership, technical skills, or creativity.

Sets You Apart from Others

If every candidate talks in terms of “we,” the hiring manager is left guessing who did what. But when you use “I,” you stand out as someone who is confident in their contributions and capable of articulating them clearly.

Builds Trust

Ownership breeds credibility. If you can clearly articulate what you did and the results you achieved, you build trust with the interviewer. They can see that you’re honest, self-aware, and confident in your abilities.

A Framework for Balancing “I” and “We”

While “I” should take center stage, it’s important to acknowledge collaboration when appropriate. Here’s a simple framework for structuring your responses:

Set the Context:

Briefly describe the project or initiative and the team’s overall goal.

Example: “In my previous role, our team was tasked with improving customer onboarding.”

Highlight Your Role:

Clearly state what you did.

Example: “I designed a new onboarding workflow, led cross-functional meetings, and trained the sales team on the new process.”

Show the Impact:

Quantify the results and tie them back to your actions.

Example: “As a result, customer onboarding time decreased by 40%, and customer satisfaction scores rose by 15%.”

Acknowledge Collaboration (When Relevant):

If appropriate, briefly mention the team effort to show your ability to work with others.

Example: “While I spearheaded this initiative, it was a collaborative effort with the support of the product and marketing teams.”

What About Failures?

Bottom line - OWN THEM. Failures are an inevitable part of any career, and how you discuss them can be just as important as your successes. When talking about failures, the same principle applies: Take ownership.

Don’t say, “We missed the project deadline.” Instead, say, “I underestimated the time required for testing and didn’t communicate delays effectively.”

Follow up with what you learned and how you improved: “Since then, I’ve adopted more rigorous time-tracking methods and improved my communication with stakeholders. The challenges I experienced in that project really have enabled me to be successful in my new projects. What a learning experience. ”

This level of accountability shows maturity and a growth mindset, which are traits every hiring manager values.

Final Thoughts

At its core, using “I” in interviews is about clarity, ownership, and confidence. A hiring manager isn’t just evaluating your potential - they’re trying to understand your past actions as a predictor of future performance. By taking responsibility for your achievements and failures, you make it easier for them to see how you’ll contribute to their organization.

Remember: A hiring manager isn’t hiring your old team - they’re hiring you. Make sure your answers leave no doubt about what you bring to the table.