PLEASE LEAVE MY CAR ALONE

I am a car lover. I grew up with Ambassadors and later, I had the privilege of using Opel, Skoda and finally a Mercedes E Class V6 Automatic which I still use. The old lady, despite her age, is still going strong and we love each other.

A few weeks back, I was driving down to a nearby village to spend some time with the nature which I often do. On the way, I stopped and had a nice “Chai”.

When I returned to my car and tried to start, the electronic key refused to turn. As I struggled, an old mechanic with his “Barkya” (Sidekick) appeared and offered to put some oil into the key switch which I politely declined, while explaining to him that this was an electronic switch and they are allergic to the oil.

The guy was convinced that I know nothing about the car, gave me a strange look and sat on a stone nearby explaining to his Barkya about his endeavors with all kinds of cars which he fixed with one screwdriver, one hammer and a few spanners. Fixing this switch was a child’s play for him. Just cut two wires, join them and you go!

I agreed. What he said was indeed true.

After a while, the switch, who calls himself EIS had a pity on me and suddenly the V6 came to life. I decided to beat a retreat, came home and parked the car. I could never turn the key again.

With over 45 years of automotive experience under my belt with over 10 years in the aftersales service, I considered myself as an automotive expert. So I decided to fix the switch myself.

From the internet, I found that I was not alone. There are a lot of you tube videos on how to fix this. After the on-line training, I decided to open and fix the Electronic Steering Lock (ESL) and the Electronic Ignition Switch (EIS) myself. I eliminated the ESL by an “Emulator” which I purchased from Dubai, but could not find a way to get rid of the EIS. So I opened it, found what was wrong and fixed it. One Mercedes expert told me that there is an international award for doing this.

Although the car is back on road, I kept wondering as to how much dose of electronic we should have in the “Car?” The ECU, ABS, ESP, EPS, are essential, whether I like them or not, but why EIS and ESL? The locks are for the gentleman. I am convinced that Herr Gottlieb Daimler & Carl Benz would never have allowed this piece of **** into their car, and as and when I get an opportunity to meet them, I will definitely tell them.

While I was recovering from this psychological shock, a friend shared a link to a video of a Chinese “Car” having motorized enclosures for every possible opening and movable part, sensors to automatically detect the owner and decide whether to allow entry or not. You were at the car’s mercy once you were in as you were expected to do your work in your office on the wheels or have coffee while she took you to the destination. After that, you could get off only by her permission.

I almost had a brain stroke and collapsed.

NO, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO MY CAR! YOU ARE TAKING AWAY ALL THE PLEASURE OF MOTORING THE CARS ARE KNOWN FOR, FOR A CENTURY. JUST GET RID OF THE EIS AND ESL IF YOU CAN.

I remembered the Lee Iacocca’s famous ad – Will you buy a car from this man????

?PLEASE LEAVE MY CAR ALONE!

#automotive, #EV, #Electric, #Innovation