Please do not bring your whole self to work.

Oh goodness, this could go either way...

I remember when I first started paying attention to conversations about workplace culture. I’d just left a ‘The Office’ style place, and as I settled into my lovely new role in a tech scaleup, I realised I had much to learn. One of the first things I learnt was that acronyms were much beloved by all (it took me a while to finally ask WTF an RFP was) and the more acronyms you used, the definitely, certainly, surely, more busy and important you were. Another thing I learnt was how great Slack is (apart from that one time when there was a load of unregulated and NSFW channels that we found out about). But the thing I want to talk about today is something that I saw in a handbook, and then in other workplaces, and then absolutely flippin’ everywhere on LinkedIn - and that’s this phrase: Bring Your Whole Self to Work.

And I thought… Well, that’s bollocks.

Sounds lovely, doesn't it? But I’ve got to tell you, I hate it. And so I, a whole-self-confessed annoying and foul-mouthed clown, would like to dissect this invitation to parade your quirks down the office corridors.

Psychological Safety

Psychological safety, a glorious (and not BS) term that describes feeling able to speak up, share ideas or concerns, take action or experiment without the fear of being punished, humiliated or attacked. It’s about creating a space where people feel genuinely comfortable expressing themselves.

Psycholafety, as I’m now coining it (gotta watch the word count) helps teams:

• Problem-solve creatively without fear of failure or ridicule
• Share perspectives and ideas that drive innovation
• Report issues and concerns that may prevent future f*ck ups
• Support each other, leading to better teamwork and collaboration

This is good. More of this. It’s totally possible to feel psychologically safe, be authentic, but still not be my WHOLE self.

The Challenges

I’m all for a good Monday debrief, and yes I do want to hear about that storage locker auction you went to (always wanted to go to one of those) but where do we draw the line? Is it fine that I just heard about Tina’s husband’s weird... toe? Perhaps we should debate the ethics of pineapple on pizza to the point of workplace division? Toes and Italian blasphemy aside, what if someone’s whole self loves confrontation, or is just… a bit of an asshole??

Herein lies the danger… personal oversharing, clashing values, and blurry boundaries.?

What if you’ve brought your whole animal rights self to work and you’re about to tell Neil all about himself as he eats that disgusting sandwich on his lunch break. Stand down, animal rights folks, I’m a vegan and dislike Neil’s sandwich as much as the next leaf muncher, I just wouldn’t tell him at work.?

Good PR?

The intention behind this phrase is commendable - trying to encourage people to feel valued for who they are as individuals - that’s great! Go forth my friends; wear that meme t-shirt, add Haddaway to the Friday playlist, invite your teammates to play D&D with you - just don’t tell me who you voted for and please can you stop swearing so much in front of clients? (Guilty on that last one FFS).

Different people, different views, experiences, interests, authentic expression - all top tier items on a company culture wish-list. But obviously that only applies to all the nice bits of people, or the bits that are in service of creating a harmonious and safe working environment for everyone, right? I know you agree, so I’m not going to labour this point… moving swiftly on….

So yeah, I’m pretty sure most people know the unwritten rules on what’s ok and what’s not (although I’m in HR, I know this isn’t always the case!)

I don’t believe anyone is buying it, and I don’t believe companies actually, really mean it. So why TF are we still saying it?

Well, I think we all know - it sounds good. But so does the crypto investment opportunity that top-ranked Bitcoin fella on LinkedIn messaged me about. OMG, so did NFTs (lol). Take from that what you will.

Be adaptable

You heard me, CHANGE! Well, just a little…

Maybe, instead of clinging to our personal brand like a security blanket, why not adapt a bit? Not in a ‘change your personality’ way, but perhaps a ‘don’t make it weird under the guise of being yourself’ way. We’ve all met the “I just say it as it is, that’s just who I am, I’m like Marmite, sorry if you’re offended” person - got news for you Professor Marmite, you’re emotionally unintelligent.

Here are some top tips on being adaptable in a workplace, from the (AI) queen of adaptability, Madonna…

• Self-awareness: Start with a bit of soul-searching. Know your biases and how your actions impact others. Remember, true strength comes from understanding yourself.
• Find Common Goals: Focus on shared dreams and aspirations. Highlight what you and your colleagues strive for together. It’s not just about you; it’s about creating harmony.
• Active Listening: Tune in to your colleagues with empathy and genuine interest. This isn't just about hearing—it's about understanding. Respect and openness build the strongest bridges.
• Communication Style: Adjust your style to connect better with others. Whether it’s through an email, a heartfelt face-to-face chat, or even a quick message, find what works best for everyone.
• Facilitate Inclusivity: Support training sessions, back policies, and lead by example. Treat others how they want to be treated and encourage others to do the same.?

Well that was a bit crap wasn’t it, I was expecting it to be much more Madonna-y. Think that sounds more like Kabbalah Madonna than Material Girl Madonna... Not even a mention of not preaching? Ahh well… we move.

Being your whole work self

You don’t have to blur the boundaries to make great team bonds. You might not all love 18th-century French poetry, but you can certainly rally around the merits of an ergonomic office chair - magnifique.

Maybe companies should be asking people to bring their best parts to work - the professional, respectful, and considerate bits. They can leave the rest for Reddit, or a bewildered pet. Instead, can’t we focus on what great qualities people can add to a team, and our collective culture??

Has this been a rant? Who knows, maybe, I’m now at the end of writing this and have a sinking feeling that I’m writing a rant. I guess I’m just over companies making insincere statements about their culture. There must be a better way for us to encourage team authenticity without compromising our own as businesses.

So please, please, my CTA is: Stop telling people to bring their whole selves to work.