I am not who I was before.

This is the first time in more than ten years that I am updating my LinkedIn profile picture.

I’m not who I was before.

Sometimes a loss is so painful that it splits your life in two: you before and you after.

I know who I was before the day Josh died in my arms. I know who I hope to someday become.

Right now I’m in between. Rebuilding. Please allow me to reintroduce myself.

Hi. I’m Erin. 

I’ve spent the past twenty-five years working in leadership and community building initiatives.

Six weeks before the pandemic shut everything down, I began a new job as Executive Director of the MetroWest Visitors Bureau. 

Just after that, the love of my life was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Josh had been my friend since I was only 14 years old. His impact on my life cannot be overstated. For three decades we were those two best friends who never got their timing right, and we even married other people. When we finally became a couple seven years ago, Josh used to say that we should write a novel about our epic love story. I wish we had. His version would no doubt be funnier than mine.

In October the cancer took him, even though he was not ready to go. Even though he fought with everything he had. Even though we had so much more we wanted to do together. Even though the kids still need him so much. Even though he was the strongest person I’ve ever met. Even though he was the only place in the world I felt safe to be all of me. Even though…

Life keeps going. Even though I’m not ready for it to.

I’m not who I was before and I’m not yet who I hope to become.

When I meet you I’ll be bringing all of this with me, the heartache, the hope, the healing.

If you live or work in MetroWest I see you.  I know you have suffered losses and are rebuilding too.  Yet I remain excited for the year ahead at the MetroWest Visitors Bureau because I know that by working together we can cultivate a thriving region again.

I also know that I am not the only one having to balance new levels of heartache and hope. There is still so much healing to be done and people all around the globe are burning out. I don’t have all the answers, but I have walked through a few fires in my lifetime and continue to provide resilience training and mentorship. I want to change the way we think about resilience. I want you to know:

Resilience is not about repeatedly getting back up when you get knocked down. That is exhausting, and after a few hard knocks you realize it is not sustainable as a strategy.

Resilience is the daily practice of listening to your voice and strengthening your voice until,

little by little, it becomes loud enough to reach all the pieces of your soul, until it becomes loving enough to let you rest and brave enough to lead you forward through the darkness,

until it becomes powerful enough to bridge the expanse between you before and you after.

Resilience is the daily practice of nourishing the voice inside you who calls together all the victories, all the losses, all the fears and loves and dreams and all the versions of you, to create one masterpiece of a life.

I’m not who I was before, but I can still hear her.

I look forward to meeting you.

Erin

Connect with Erin regarding MetroWest at [email protected]

Connect with Erin regarding speaking opportunities at [email protected]