Playlist of Transformation: VI

One Step Away

By: Macey Nelson

May 9, 2024

Get The Party Started—P!nk

I’m writin’ now, so you better get this party started…

Get this party started on LinkedIn today,

Waitin’ for everybody to chime back in,

I’ll be waitin' for your comments to roll in

Because I missed writing to you.

LINKEDIN, hey there!

I really made you wait for the sixth blog… oopsies.

I hope you missed me as much as I missed writing to you. The transition out of the military got real real, the stress continued to build, and time was not in my favor to give you a killer playlist.

Y’all only deserve the best.

So, for real, we better get this party started because music is running through my veins, and I feel like this is going to be a real party playlist.

U Can’t Touch This – M.C. Hammer

I got my separation orders, I had my final out, and I am officially on terminal leave.

You can’t touch this.

You can’t even wipe this grin off my face because that's how we livin’.

I waited a long time for my orders because I was unaware I had to apply for my separation orders. Can they hold me in the military if I meet my separation date without my orders? Is it wrong that I question if the military is going to stop me from getting out if I do not do it?

Well, let’s be honest. I am not willing to figure it out. I was willing to do everything it took to fully out-process and continue to choose myself, as I have done the entire time since I decided I wanted to move forward with separation.

I had one week to fully out-process out of the base and medical group. One week, of course, not considering the time I put into my skillbridge, to go. One week to commute 30 minutes back and forth to base (each way). If you know anything about Tampa, FL, a 10-mile drive takes 30 minutes or more, depending on the time of day.

For those who are new to the military language, yes, it is a language of its own; separation orders mean that you can finally out-process from your military base and job. Like a civilian “two-week notice,” but it only takes 6+ months and an unreasonable amount of time to finally go around the entire base and get that one signature to ensure you are good to leave the military.

But as I said before, You can’t touch this.

I completed my final out and on terminal, one final step until that DD214.

Girl on Fire—Alicia Keys

Well, well…

This girl—me—felt like a girl on fire, so really, You can’t touch this.

I had to reschedule my final out more times than you can count because I did not have orders; I could not get ahold of people who needed to sign off on my extensive checklist, and my terminal leave took over four months to get approved.

For those of you transitioning, pester. Make that call. Advocate for yourself. If you do not advocate for yourself, no one else will. No one will ever care more about your career or future than yourself.

You know time is short; time is valuable. And there sometimes really isn’t enough time in the day. So, I do not delay the wait and the rescheduling.

However, this entire transition has taught me the most valuable lesson. It taught me patience. Patience isn’t easy when nothing is in your control. I waited on someone else for most of my signatures, but that is life.

“Hurry up.” “Okay, now wait.”

I have heard this since my first day in basic training. We had to sprint out of that white bus in front of the dorms with all of our belongings just to wait. Wait to get your towels, shampoo, and conditioner. Wait to get dorm arrangements. Wait for your food. Wait for your MTI. Wait. Wait. Wait.

We hurry to move along to wait—just like that car zooming 20+ MPH past you, for you just to meet up with them at that red light 100 feet ahead. It may just be me, but I cannot help but attempt to make eye contact with those drivers as I pull up, cruising at 35 MPH.

But we are creatures of habit. Routines are comfortable, and we grow the most in uncomfortable moments. I would have never felt like a girl on fire if I had not sat and waited for my orders and all the signatures I needed to separate. I knew I did as much as I could, and lookie here, I am on terminal.

Did you tell you I am officially on terminal leave?

The Way I Live—Baby Boy Da Prince ft. P. Town Moe

This is the way I liveee

Lil’ gurl pushin’ on big dreams

I do what I gotta do, then chill

I need to work hard, that’s the way I feel, I feel.

I write these blogs to exude positivity about all the phases of the military transition, but stress is also a part of that.?

Maybe those last lyrics should have said:

This is the way I liveee

Lil’ gurl pushin’ thru big stressss

Stress is “a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.” *

There is good stress (eustress) that is beneficial to your well-being, like a big presentation to discuss the annual data with the CEO and suggest adjustments to the current processes to ensure the business is operating at its highest function. It is good to feel stressed walking into that meeting because it has been a year of your efforts getting analyzed by the big dawg, whoooo whooo.

But when the stress leads to sleepless nights, panic attacks, tight chests, and constant worry, then Houston, we've got a problem.?

Why are you stressed, Macey??

Great question: I wonder, too.?

I got and accepted a job offer. I made it through my transition (almost). I have a sound support system locally and in other states. I play co-ed softball multiple times a week. I listen to music. I love music.?

Working as a mental health technician has taught me how to truly be there for other people, especially in a moment of crisis. It's a blessing and a curse because the one person I'm not always there for is myself.?

I want always to be available, always reach every deadline, add more to my plate, and say yes to every social outing. And occasionally, this isn't bad. It's the reason I've been able to be there for people, the reason I work so hard, and the reason I've taught myself that I'm more than capable.?

But remember, saying “No” and staying within your boundaries is also okay.

Stay true to yourself.

Learn your mind.

Learn your body.

And listen to it.

You got this. If I can do it, you can too!

(You can always contact me with anything you may need help with during your transition).

Playlist:

Get The Party Started—P!nk

U Can’t Touch This – M.C. Hammer

Girl on Fire—Alicia Keys

The Way I live—Baby Boy Da Prince ft. P. Town Moe

* https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/stress#:~:text=What%20is%20stress%3F,experiences%20stress%20to%20some%20degree.