Playing Through Pain: The Dangerous Myth of Perseverance in Youth Sports

By Giani Boldeanu, Sports Mental Coach

In the sprawling tableau of youth sports, where the determination is celebrated and perseverance lionized, there exists a quietly destructive myth: that true champions push through the pain. This narrative, whispered in bleachers and reinforced in car rides home, can be devastatingly short-sighted. As a mental coach for athletes, I’ve witnessed the toll it exacts—not just on young bodies, but on their minds and futures.

Take a moment to picture the scene. It’s a brisk Saturday morning on the soccer field. The whistle blows, and a young athlete stumbles. The limp is unmistakable, and the discomfort is evident. Yet, from the sidelines, a voice rises above the crowd: “Shake it off!” A mantra often rooted in misplaced encouragement but carrying potentially ruinous consequences.

In the eyes of many parents, such exhortations feel like a rite of passage. After all, resilience is a virtue, isn’t it? But let’s unpack what’s really happening when we ask our children to “play through it.” We’re not fostering resilience. We’re teaching them to ignore their bodies’ cries for help and to value the game over their well-being. In doing so, we perpetuate a cycle of harm that often culminates in chronic injuries and shattered confidence.

The Science We Can’t Ignore

Research on youth sports injuries is clear: pushing through pain can exacerbate minor injuries, turning them into lifelong issues. The skeletal structure of young athletes is still developing, making them particularly vulnerable to damage. A stress fracture ignored today can morph into a debilitating condition tomorrow, limiting mobility and even derailing athletic dreams.

Equally important is the psychological toll. Children internalize the messages they hear from parents and coaches. When we dismiss their pain, we inadvertently teach them that their feelings and boundaries are secondary to external expectations. Over time, this can erode their sense of self-trust and confidence, leaving them vulnerable not just to physical setbacks, but also to mental health struggles.

A Cultural Shift: Rethinking “Toughness”

Where does this “push through it” culture come from? Part of the answer lies in the stories we revere. From Olympic champions who competed with injuries to professional athletes heralded for their grit, the narrative is intoxicating. But for every heroic comeback story, there are countless untold tales of careers cut short and lives upended by preventable injuries.

True toughness, I often tell parents and athletes, isn’t about ignoring the pain. It’s about recognizing it as a signal—not an obstacle, but a guide. Pain is the body’s way of saying something is wrong. Listening to it isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.

The Role of Parents: Champions of Long-Term Success

Parents, you hold a unique power in shaping how your child views their athletic journey. Instead of urging them to “shake it off,” try asking, “How does it feel?” and “What do you think you need right now?” These simple questions do more than address the immediate situation; they teach young athletes to tune into their bodies and advocate for their needs.

And when the decision to pause or sit out is made? Support it unconditionally. Celebrate the courage it takes to prioritize health over glory. Remember, your child’s worth isn’t defined by the scoreline or their ability to power through adversity. It’s in their capacity to grow, thrive, and find joy in the game—on their own terms.

A Vision for the Future

Imagine a sports culture where injuries are met not with scepticism but with understanding. Where young athletes feel empowered to speak up without fear of letting their team down. Where parents and coaches view rest and recovery not as an inconvenience, but as integral to success.

In my work, I’ve seen the profound difference this approach can make. Athletes who feel heard and supported recover faster and return stronger—physically and mentally. They learn that resilience isn’t about ignoring pain but navigating it wisely.

So next Saturday, when you’re on the sidelines, cheer loudly. But let your cheers champion not just effort, but also self-awareness and self-care. Because the best thing we can give our young athletes isn’t a trophy—it’s a future filled with possibility.

About the Author

Giani Boldeanu is a mental coach specializing in youth sports, with a focus on building resilience and emotional intelligence in athletes. Drawing from years of experience in the field, he advocates for a holistic approach to athletic development that prioritizes health, happiness, and long-term success.