Playing The Inner Game Well in Life

"How we show up, and how well we conduct ourselves in public, professionally, relationally, socially is going to be determined by how well we play the inner game."

I always look forward to this time of the year to zoom into what I have done and achieved, and even take a moment to reflect on those deadlines that I missed along the way, the projects that I didn't secure, and reminding myself that I'm human and not a robot after all, therefore I'm not perfect. Another angle that comes to play is how can I improve myself if given another opportunity? Did I miss something last time and if so, what is that I missed? Eventually this becomes a learning journey, drawing lessons from where I went wrong while operating from a place of compassion and kindness.

In life, we all have to pick our own game. We can choose to play it safe, play the game in a defensive way, where our decisions are driven by fear. Fear of failing, fear of not getting it right, fear of being judged, fear of losing the game. This can come at a cost of closing ourselves off from the world, and not living life fully. Playing to not make any mistake in any way, hence we are limiting our ability as players. Or we can choose to go out there with a clear sense of purpose, playing the game to win and not playing the game to lose in a defensive way. We should go out there and give our very best while also reminding ourselves that everyone loses at some point in life and that there are good days and bad days.

And it is this understanding that humbles us and gives us an opportunity to improve even if they are small improvements. Small improvements overtime =Progress. A timeless strategy that has worked in my life and I share with my clients is to 'master one aspect of your life at a time.' As you thrive in this one area, it becomes a stepping stone and a motivation to getting other areas right. What is important is for one to not be overwhelmed and give up quickly but to take those small steps, one at a time and slowly build momentum, stay the course and remain motivated. Ask yourself : What tools am I applying in this area that are working and can they be applicable in these other areas where I am struggling? How can I come back better? How can I elevate myself? What mistakes did I make last time that I can work on to not to repeat them? What work do I need to put in this regard? What training do I need to do to come back better?

A good mental state goes a long way. Managing ourselves well internally is critical for us to achieve great results in any area of our life. "Not playing the game before the game ."

This is a great way to guard our mental states by not worrying in advance about what could go wrong, imagining the worst case scenarios, thinking we're not enough, allowing self-doubt to come in, and getting ahead of ourselves, especially before that important game, business meeting or job interview. All this leads to emotional turmoil and sleepless nights, which can have a direct impact on our results and health.

Instead, let us prepare well in advance, anticipate great things and do those things that build up our confidence and don't deplete our peace of mind. Be mindful and train ourselves to self-regulate when experiencing those unhelpful thought patterns, and re Focus on being proactive instead of being reactive. For example, reading a good book on the subject matter , which can build our self-confidence, engaging in things that relax us like meditation, going for that massage, a jog or any other form of self care in the time leading up to that big moment.

And also acknowledging that a part of being human is that we are far from being perfect in life and that we don't know everything. We are bound to fall many times and it is from this realization that we can continuously grow ourselves in those areas we are struggling in. We can do so by first getting to know ourselves better, by being self aware to best understand the areas in our life that need to be developed.

"Its not what happens to us, it's about how we choose to respond to that which happens to us, how willing we are to take the rough with the smooth, how willing and prepared we are, how mature we are to take the wins with the losses. We are not entitled to win all the time. We are not entitled to a smooth game or smooth life. We are not entitled to any more or any less than what we have right now."

This leaves us with a choice on how we are going to conduct ourselves in the moment. If we make a wrong choice, we can still change it. It is not the end of the world.

Wishing all my dedicated readers and followers a super blessed, happy and safe holiday season. Thank you for your continuous support!

Amina Birungi Mothupi

Executive & Life Coach / Mindfulness Facilitator