Playing with Father Takes Them Farther

New study shows that when fathers make time to play with their young children, those children may have an easier time controlling their emotions as they grow up

By Dovid Schatzkamer, LMHC, RPT-S

“What’s that on your back?” the father asks with a playful grin.

“What? What’s there?” asks his little boy.

“This!” the father declares as he holds up his index finger and proceeds to tickle his son until they’re both literally rolling on the floor with laughter.

A recently released study from the University of Cambridge and the Lego Foundation points out the unique benefits of playtime between fathers and their children from age 0-3. Pulling together evidence from the past 40 years they sought to better understand the impact that father-child play time has on a child’s development.

One conclusion that we didn’t need any study to prove, is that fathers tend to play in a more hands-on, physical fashion such as tickling, chasing, and giving piggyback rides. Beyond making kids laugh and bringing a smile to their faces, however, the study concluded that these physical play activities help kids control their feelings. In fact, it may also make them better at regulating their own behavior as they get older.

The study stated that rough play allows children to practice their responses without fear of retribution. They know they can react in different ways and test the waters. This allows them to learn to control their emotions before they enter a school setting.

As one of the University of Cambridge faculty members, Paul Ramchandani, Professor of Play in Education, explained: “Physical play creates fun, exciting situations in which children have to apply self-regulation.”

It has long been understood that parent-child play during the child’s first few years is essential to social, cognitive, and communication skills development. However, until now most research focused on the mother-child play relationship. In this study the father was prioritized and data from 78 studies undertaken between 1977 and 2017 was reviewed and analyzed.

The conclusions:

·         There is a consistent correlation between father-child play and children's subsequent ability to control their feelings. 

 ·        Children who enjoyed high-quality playtime with their fathers were less likely to exhibit hyperactivity, or emotional and behavioral difficulties. 

 ·        Children tend to be better at controlling their aggression, and less prone to lash out at other children during disagreements at school or with family members.  

Not bad for some tickling or rough-and-tumble play!

That said, the authors of the study stressed that children who only live with their mother are not at a disadvantage in this regard. The mother can also play more physically with her children. The main takeaway here is that physical, engaging play is important for your child’s emotional and social development.

So, tell your kids to hop on pop. It’s time for a piggyback ride!

About the Filial Program:

Filial Program is a treatment approach that teaches parents how to conduct weekly thirty-minute play times with their child at home in an effort to improve the parent–child relationship. The Filial Program has a great applicability as a prevention/intervention program to enhance the attachment, intimacy and quality of the father-child relationship. A significant advantage of the Filial Program is that it makes no distinction in methodology between prevention and intervention.

The power of the Filial Program is that children receive attention for their own developmental and behavioral issues and the parent improves his parenting skills, confidence in himself and closeness with his children. The educational/skill training methodology of the Filial Program shifts the focus from pathology and dysfunction to constructive and functional relationships.