The Playbook: Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life

Patrick Mouratoglou is a French tennis coach best known for being Serena Williams' coach since June 2012. He has coached over 40 players who have broken into the Top 100 World Rankings in this most beautiful of sports. Some of his other well-known protégés include Marcos Baghdatis and Irena Pavlovic . He is a 4x Coach of the Year and has won 10 Grand Slam titles with Serena Williams. In the fourth episode of the Netflix series 'The Playbook: A Coach's Rules for Life' , he shares his experience as a coach and mentor to some of the biggest tennis players in the world. Let's take a look at Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life.

On Being Number One

Patrick recalls his father playing the piano and how he would perfect the piece he was playing through numerous repetitions.

One piece of classical music is like reading a poem sentence by sentence. To perfect that piece, you take a sentence and repeat it a million times until it's perfect. Tennis is exactly the same, practice a million times until it's perfect. The piano can be beautiful to listen to but if you listen to the same piece repeated a million times, it drives people crazy. It's tough and that's why not many people can be number one.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #1: your greatest weakness can become your greatest strength

Patrick believes it's all about what you do with what happens to you. Patrick was shy and extremely introverted as a child. His inability to speak confidently to people paved the way for him to learn how to observe people and read their body language. Unknowingly, he developed a skill that would prove useful to him in his coaching career.

The ability to read people helped Patrick as a coach as he gathered all this information from the various cues and used it to make a plan. He can speak to his players, build their confidence, and feed their motivation. Similarly, we can turn any of our crippling weaknesses to our advantage.

I have found that every quality or trait has two sides: one that can be used to our advantage and the other that works against us. I went through something similar to Patrick's experience as a child. I didn't have a lot of friends, so I spent most of my time learning new things. I learned how to be comfortable with being alone, and I broadened my horizons by exploring new fields of interest. Today, I use that experience to gain more knowledge and interact with people to help them solve their problems. All of these things come in handy during critical conversations and when I am speaking to an audience.

Every day, I write down a lot of things. I write down everything in notebooks because I think it's incredibly important. It helps you clear your ideas. We think we are not going to forget but we forget everything.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #2: never be afraid to get fired

I accept to make mistakes because I take risks and because I am not scared.

Sometimes you have to take risks. You have to feel free to do what you should do. Whenever you have to do something that you think people around you may not like, there is a threat of retaliation and a fear of the consequences. We need to move past those fears to do the job.

If you are afraid of losing your job or other consequences, you will not do what needs to be done and will not say what needs to be said. You will say what other people want to hear. Patrick recalls how he began coaching Serena Williams and their first practice together. He had only one shot to prove himself and work with the greatest player. He recalls how being direct with Serena enabled him to earn her respect. According to him, when a coach is afraid of getting fired, they will tell the player what they want to hear. But he was confident of his approach because he believed it to be the right one.

First of all, I think you are an underachiever. Yes, you won 13 Grand Slam titles which are fantastic. But maybe you could have won 26. I say this because I have seen you go to tournaments unprepared many times. I feel like you don't have any plan B when things go wrong. I think you lose too many matches.

Wherever you go, you will earn people's respect if you are not scared of them and you are comfortable speaking your mind. You can make great things happen when you are not afraid to take risks and not frightened of the consequences.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #3: mistakes are inevitable but don't let them define you

People expect you to be perfect all this time. When you make mistakes, you will face criticism and judgment. The scrutiny is more, and the spotlight on you is bigger than anyone else. This is even harder if you are at the top of your field because you have no right or excuse to make a mistake.

It's painful but sometimes you have to accept to go through these moments because you know there's no other choice. Failure and frustration are two of the best things that can happen to you if you handle them the right way. And then you are going to learn.?You learn by making mistakes. Of course, it's very difficult but that's not what defines you.

To err is human. There will be moments now and then when there is a lapse in judgment. When you make a terrible decision or react a certain way, that's just one event. A big part of dealing with adversity and not letting your mistakes define you is to realize that these incidents are just that, incidents. Failures and mistakes happen; we don't need to take them personally.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #4: Emotions are the worst advisors

Our mission is all about helping people achieve their dreams (to his coaching staff, his team). Coaching is finding the right channel. It is understanding the other person's feelings and dealing with them so they can do the right thing. It's not easy and you have to accept you are going to make mistakes. We all have a lot of emotions and even more so when we are passionate.

Patrick has coached tennis star Marcos Baghdatis since 1998. In 2006, he cracked the Top 10 rankings after reaching the finals at the Australian Open and the semi-finals at Wimbledon. Post the success, Baghdatis started taking it easy, which Patrick didn't appreciate.

You and me, we both know how you get to where you are. You worked so hard and now you say that you are going to do much less and it's going to be much better. Sorry, I don't believe that.

Patrick believes he didn't handle the situation in the right way. Being angry and emotional about the issue caused him to lash out at Baghdatis, which ultimately broke their relationship. A good coach doesn't break the ties, and lashing out at players is not good.

Having emotions is not a problem. Letting them make your decisions for you is wrong.

Actions have consequences, and you must pay the price for your mistakes. Hopefully, that experience will teach you a valuable lesson and helps you become a better person. Always put emotions aside when making a decision. Ensure that your decision is not based on the emotions you feel because they will pass, and you will feel differently, but you may not always be able to reverse your decisions.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #5: Let them know they're not alone

When I consider a player, the first qualities I look for is their ambition. I don't listen to what they say, I listen to what they think about themselves. They all say they want to be number one but most of them don't believe it. I look for people who have strong self-belief and who don't give up. I want players who think they are going to be better than anyone else but also know that they are part of a team. The relationship is everything.

Sometimes when things aren't going right, people give up and stop trying. They are short on confidence, and so they tank on purpose. Something in our mind tells us that it's better to say I lost because I wasn't trying; if I was trying, things might be different.

As a leader or coach, you might feel the need to tell people off and say that this is unacceptable behavior. It seems unreasonable because people work hard every day to improve their craft, but when it's the moment of truth, they don't even try. Ask yourself, why do people tank?

Talented individuals are sometimes not confident about themselves, doubt themselves, and lack self-belief, but they have talent, know it, and don't want to lose it. If they begin to lose while competing with less-talented opponents, they start to feel that maybe they are not as talented as they thought.

As a leader, you now ask yourself what you can do to help your team member. Approach them with empathy and a gentle demeanor as a friend and talk to them about it. They will be surprised by this and see that you respect them. Show them that you want to help them, they are not alone, and that you are on their team. You will inspire them to do better because they won't want to disappoint you. That's what happened with Patrick and Irena Pavlovic.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life #6: A lie can become their truth

Everyone has limits. They are not technical, tactical, or physical. They are mental. Even the most ambitious player on the planet can have doubts which can affect the way they think. When you don't think like a champion, you don't act like a champion and you don't win like a champion.

As a coach and a leader, it is your responsibility to make sure people on your team are in the right frame of mind when it matters the most. Sometimes, people are low on confidence and can't think clearly. All they need is something to give them confidence, lift their spirits, and help them overcome their struggle.

Sometimes, you need to tell them what they want to hear. It could be something you know they can do but aren't doing right now. It doesn't matter if it's true; you can make up a lie as long as it gets them to believe in themselves. Try this; regardless of your feelings, compliment someone and tell them they look good today. Even though you might be lying, you will see a smile across their faces. They will have a great day and be grateful for it. I can't help but blush if someone says something like that; I go red in my cheeks.

This works because if someone feels lousy about themselves, everything sucks, and from nowhere comes this unexpected nugget of positivity. It causes an immediate change in the way they think and act. People choose to believe it when positivity comes from others. Sometimes, everyone needs validation and a reminder of who they are. Sometimes, even if you hate to lie, you must say the right things to instill confidence in the other person.

Everything depends on you. Knowing this can help you overcome any obstacles and guide you when making decisions about your future. You can have an impact on anything. You can change everything around you to get what you want. Everything depends on you when you think that everything can happen like magic.

Patrick Mouratoglou's Rules for Life are undoubtedly worth incorporating into our lives. Patrick has worked with world-class players. He has seen the highs and lows. His insights on how to deal with failure and self-doubt are beneficial to everyone. I will be back with insights from the last episode of this series .